So, I went to lunch today and who do I see walking in front of me on Boylston Street?! YES. A Family Radio Fanatic. He was a sweet old man who explained I still had time to “cry out for mercy,” and said, “God bless” to me. And of course I said it back. I’m damned, not rude.
Crying out seems so shameless and flashy, though. Is it too late for simple repenting?
Continue reading “I Met Family Radio Fanatics and All I Got Was This Pamphlet”
So, you think you’re pretty sorted, right? You’ve gone through our archives, checked out our reccommended reading. You have your go-bag, your outfit, and your group.You’re ready to go live your post-apocalyptic life in (relative) comfort and security, and nothing we say can bring you down. Right?
Right?
Wrong. There’s so much you haven’t even half considered yet. Like these threats.
Continue reading “Post-apocalyptic threats you haven't considered.”
I have no idea how I missed this, but apparently, the biblical Judgment Day (a.k.a. The Rapture) will occur on May 21, 2011. That’s right. The Rapture will happen THIS SATURDAY. The world will end (by fire) five months later, on October 21.
Well, according to some people. But that’s not the point.
A few weeks ago, I asked myself ‘where do you see yourself in five years?‘ This gave me the idea to write a series of posts concentrating on everyday/ rhetorical questions, answered from a post-apocalyptic frame of mind. Now, I’m not sure how ‘everyday’ this question is for some of you, but I hear a version of it at least once a day. Apparently, I am considered ‘strange’. I translate it as meaning ‘what are your flaws; and how are they going to kill you?’
By “little ones,” I mean kids. Though I suppose it can mean anything else that could be called a little one.
Obviously, survival is going to be a big deal after the apocalypse. If you don’t focus on your survival, you won’t survive.
Period. For some people, survival might come naturally. For others, it might take some training. Either way, it’s probably a good idea to train everybody in your group.
Even if you’ve got a good handle on finding food and water, you’re still going to need to know how to defend yourself. Having a stash of ninja throwing stars isn’t going to help you if you just keep dropping them on your foot while the other guys take off with your food.
Everyone’s going to need training. Even (especially?) the kids. This shouldn’t be a surprise; parents train their kids now, and the world hasn’t ended yet (well, not technically, anyway). Think about it: as a parent, you teach your kids when they’re young to not talk to strangers and to look both ways before crossing the street. What’s that, if not a form of survival training?
Sure, the circumstances will change once the world goes to That Place in a handbasket. But you’ll still need to teach your kids (and everyone else in your group) how to survive and how to defend themselves.
There’s a saying ‘To Assume makes an Ass out of U and Me’. I hate that saying, because it’s stupid and because it uses the American ‘ass’ and as far as I’m concerned that’s a donkey. I think that the saying should be ‘Assumptions will mean you starve to death or die of cholera’ but admittedly that’s not very catchy. However, it is much more accurate. Making assumptions probably won’t turn you into a donkey, but it will get you killed.
There’s no doubt that friendships and networks will be important in the post-apocalyptic world. After all, people will need to band together for protection and survival. While making friends with other survivors may not be a requirement, it’s probably a good idea. Since there’s safety in numbers, you never know when you’ll need someone to watch your back. And, you know, finding a survivor group to join will probably be easier if people in that group actually like you.
Continue reading “How to make friends and influence zombies”
Often we assume that after the apocalypse, we will be the good guys and everyone else will be the bad guys. But what about if we’re the good guys and the other guys are just misunderstood?
We’ve allowed the genies to become children’s playmates of choice [1. Aladdin] , encouraged the hero worship of killer robots [2. Terminators] and sat idly by at the romanticization of vampires [3. Too many to name] . All these creatures, once the stuff of nightmares, are now fodder for the diaries of adolescents.
What about the Zombies though? They remain the same shambling greedy shells of their former selves we’ve always viewed them as. We balk at the suggestion they may still have feelings and emotions.
But what about rights? As former human beings are they still entitled to some if not all of the rights they once were.
Should we consider them not villains but among the disabled?
Continue reading “Equal Rights After The Apocalypse: The Zombie Rights Campaign”
On this website we say that we are ‘obsessed with the apocalypse, in all it’s trivial detail’ and I think that’s true. But where does such an obsession start? How does it get it’s claws in someone? How does it turn a sweet- if somewhat strange- child into a paranoid, constantly planning freak?
During the apocalypse, you’ll have to consider how to protect your family.
This is especially true if you have children. The apocalypse is sure to be filled with chaos (not to mention things exploding and people shooting at each other), and protecting yourself—let alone your family—could be difficult or near impossible.
There will be tough competition for food, water, and shelter, so you’ll have to fight for basic necessities. You’ll probably also meet scary and terrible bad guys who are intent on killing you for being in the way, or eating you because you’re in the way and it happens to be lunchtime.
This doesn’t sound like a very good environment for children, now does it? I thought not.
But how can you guarantee protection and shelter, at least during the apocalypse and in its immediate aftermath? Well, you can’t (sorry). You might, however, have a better chance of having shelter and supplies if you build a bomb shelter and keep it well-stocked. Keep in mind, though, that a bomb shelter would have to be built before an apocalypse—as in, you’d have to start building now.
