Drama, the survival camp, and you

So over no dramathe past six months or so, I’ve realized something about myself: I hate drama. Not drama in movies or books or anything like that, but real-life drama. The kind with gossiping, rumor-mongering, backstabbing, that sort of thing. Now, I’m not saying that I’ve experienced those things in the past six months, but there’s been, well, drama. And some serious real-life flouncing. (Aside: I didn’t actually think people could flounce in real life, but it turns out they CAN.)

I have realized that if you’re going to act like a child and engage in behavior best left to grade school playgrounds, I will drop you like a hot potato. For example: if your idea of resolving conflict is to refuse to talk to the person you’ve got a problem with and instead talk to other people about that person and problem, I will drop you faster than you can say “FLOUNCING!” Or if you thrive on drama and/or cause drama because it’s fun, I will walk (possibly run) away. And yep, faster than you can say “FLOUNCING!

Why? Well, for a couple of reasons. One, because life’s too short for that shit. The other, and probably more important reason, is because I’m too damn lazy to deal with that sort of crap.

Honestly, drama takes effort. I’m a path-of-least-resistance kind of girl. You know.

This sort of behavior — and my sort of reaction (aka “run, run away”) — is all well and good now. As in, the pre-apocalypse. But what about in the post-apocalypse? (I’m assuming a terrible post-apocalypse here; the wasteland sort, possibly with zombies. Your post-apocalypse may vary.) In a survival camp, where people are doing everything possible just to stay, you know, alive, will this type of behavior be tolerated? Will drama-causers and divas be kicked out to fend for themselves?

Or will the drama-causers and divas be the ones running the survival camp? (In which case I’m screwed.)

If it were me running a survival camp, I would likely have a no-drama policy, just because I think it’s a waste of time and effort. I’m sure there will be better things to do in camp than to recreate your junior high school experience. Of course, not tolerating drama might get me a) a massive exodus out of my survival camp; or b) ousted as benevolent dictator of said survival camp. I don’t know, it could go either way.

I think it’s possible that people will band together and overcome the urge to stir shit up and cause drama while in a life or death situation like the post-apocalypse (assuming the dire and terrible zombie wasteland type of post-apocalypse, of course).

But I also think it’s possible that bringing people together under such stressful conditions will just bring out the worst in everybody and the drama quotient will multiply. By a factor of…well, a lot.

The cynic in me thinks that there will be drama aplenty. But that’s just me. What do you think?

The girls guide to post-apocalyptic dictatorship.

In the past, I have made a big deal about how in the post apocalypse, I WILL be a benevolent dictator in control of a large, well run compound. Some of you seem to seem to think I might be joking about this.

Oh, no, sugarbuns. I fully intend to be a dictator. I’m already spoiled, petty and quick to anger – dictatorship should be a cinch.

I can’t tell you HOW to build your compound – it requires a combination of charm, talent, leadership abilities, organisation and a basic, borderline sociopathic disrespect for the rights, opinions and feelings of other people that I just don;t think you can learn. But, I can give you some ideas about how to maintain your iron control once you have it. After all, you don’t want to screw up so bad they murder you, do you?

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Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a tradition celebrated by many cultures around the world. The third Thursday in November is the one I’m most accustomed to here in America.

We thank the pilgrims and the settlers for braving the ocean and slaughtering the Native Americans so we could eventually build the shopping malls we camp out in front of the morning after so we can get the best sale prices.

We also thank the Native Americans for being so easily to betray and murder so we could feel bad enough about it to force our children to act out plays reminding us of that time we[1. By “we” I mean white people who go back generations. My people haven’t oppressed, enslaved, or exterminated anyone.] shouldn’t have done that thing.

In the post apocalypse, I propose we hold fast to the tradition of a big, important holiday focused around being thankful for what we have.

Imagine the laundry list of things you’d be thankful for in the post apocalypse if you had the chance to stop and be thankful. Life for instance. Food to sustain that life. Shelter to protect that life. People who are also alive to share that food, shelter, and safety with.

But an annual Thanksgiving won’t cut it in the post apocalypse. An entire YEAR on the run from zombies or poachers or robots?

! That’s when you’re truly thankful I’m sure. That’s when you start to think, “Shit, this is really possible!”

Personally, I think every post apocalypse party or team needs an eternal optimist. I have a set of cousins-in-law who are like this.

They celebrate everything. They look forward to everything.

They’re the smiley-est, most pleased, positive thinkers I’ve ever met.

I sounds insufferable to some– it sounds insufferable to me– but unless you can match their optimism in pessimism it’s infectious and before you know it you’re happy too. Unlike them, you might not know what you’re happy about but you just feel better.

This is the kind of infection you want running rampant in the apocalypse. You’ll want someone who’ll stop everyone in their tracks and say, “Hey! We just crossed  a border let’s make up a border dance and thank everyone on Team Awesome for getting us here!”

Maybe weekly or on a per-milestone basis, in the post apocalypse, we need to ensure to give thanks as freely as we run for our lives.

Your Post-Apocalyptic Tribe: Dress for Success

Does anyone remember that show The Tribe about all the kids left over after a disease kills all the adults? They kids banded together in tribes based on their needs, interests, and location (e.g.: The Mall Rats). You could tell a lot about a person in that world based on how they looked and what they wore.

In the post-apocalypse you might want people to know who you’re allied with or where you’re from. It could mean the difference between being shot on sight or welcomed with open arms.

Now, I wouldn’t recommend tattooing your affiliation post-apocalypse. While it’s the permanent method that many gang members and sub-cultures seem to be fond of nowadays, it’s also potentially fatal if not done by a fully sanitized and licensed professional. You want to go through all the trouble of finding a group to belong to and then dying of tetanus right after your initiation?

Not a good look.

Colors, also a gang favorite, are another great way to show your affiliation. But colors are going to be hard to find and be selective about come the end times. Also, if you’re team chooses red and their team chooses blue, the robots will still find all of you way more easily than if you all wore army green and hid in the forest.

Where you choose to hide, or set up for the long haul, will heavily impact not only who you’re associated with but also how you’ll need to dress to survive that environment. We here at In Case of Survival are all about practical[1. Psyche, we’re the least practical bitches on the earth.] survival.

If you’re residing in the sewers, you should have some goggles and a wrench and some sturdy boots for wading through muck and tightening drippy pipes. If you’re in the forests, you’ll need flexible shoes for climbing and stealthy movement, also a lot of form-fitting clothes so they don’t get caught on things.

More to the point of post-apocalyptic tribes, you’ll need to consider how to merge both recognizably and practicality.  If everyone looks like a hobo then no one likes someone you’d trust. Would you invite a hobo into your house, campsite, or country club?

Well maybe you’re a better person than I am, but I sure as shit wouldn’t.

Dos and Don’ts When Dressing Your Post-apocalyptic Tribe:

DO dress for your environment– both weather and terrain.

DO make room for weapons relevant to your environment and any enemies you might encounter.

DON’T go for garish colors or accessories– this is how the robots will spot you. Everyone in bright colors will die first.

DON’T let the tribe members get too flexible with the dress code.

DO have something that’s difficult to replicate in a pinch like being black, or bald or tall or …

Well those aren’t really feasible. Hair dye! Nail Polish! Piercings (though, like tattoos, there is a health risk involved).

Any other suggestions for dressing your post-apocalyptic tribe for success?

Race relations in the post apocalypse

I know race relations (or the possible lack thereof) isn’t necessarily something people want to think about, let alone talk about. But. Race relations, racial tensions, and all that other fun stuff that happens now will still be happening after the apocalypse. And I think at some point, those tensions may even get worse.

Personally, I think things might go a little like this: In the beginning, immediately after the apocalypse, people will be so desperate and willing to survive that they’ll join a group–any group–to increase their chances of survival. And as we’ve said numerous times, joining a group will increase your chances of survival. (Assuming, of course, that you don’t do anything to annoy your group members and provoke them into leaving you in the hands of rabid dogs or hungry zombies/vampires.)

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Keeping the (post-apocalyptic) romance alive

With Valentine’s Day being last week and my post about the Love Machine app going up last Wednesday, I’ve been thinking about love and romance and relationships and all that other sappy stuff. And seriously, it’s hard enough keeping up with the romance now, in the pre-apocalypse, when we still have Hallmark and Godiva chocolates for those moments when we screw up.

It’s going to be really hard in the post apocalypse, when we won’t have any of those romantic crutches to help us out. So what are we to do?

I’m going to move forward from here assuming that you’ve already covered the basics. That is, you’ve found a love interest, you’ve gone on your first date, and you’re maintaining a healthy relationship. If you’re not doing these things, then this post can’t really help you, because chances are you don’t have a romance to keep alive. (Of course, I could be wrong, but that’s the general assumption.)

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Why you should try to stay on our good sides.

Alright, so this is actually a post about us, because we are awesome.

In March, ICoS will have been going for a year. A year! In that year, I have got to know Tavia and Char quite well, and I tell you this: if these girls lived in the UK I would move heaven and earth to ensure they were on my post-apocalypse team. Why? I’ll tell you why.

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What you should be afraid of.

Whole psychological theories have been based on what shows up in our horror films. I could go on and on about them, but as I only have an A level in Psychology, I’m sure I would be ill-informed.

But one theory that I do agree with is that fear of monsters – of zombies, vampires, demons, whatever – is simply a way of dealing with our awareness of our own capability to be monsters.

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Entertaining the kids

Coming off the Christmas holidays, my older daughter’s school has a few random days off in January. My younger daughter gets to stay home those days, and I unfortunately get no work done. (Unless I want to work at midnight, which I usually have to do in order to meet my deadlines. Yay.)

Those are also the days when I have to come up with new and creative ways to entertain my daughters. Since Christmas wasn’t that long ago, I can’t just plunk them down in front of the craft box, because they’d just spent two weeks digging around in there to find random things with which to decorate the walls.

At some point during the day, I run out of things to do, they get bored with their toys, and everybody ends up watching “Yo Gabba Gabba.”

This, of course, leads me to wonder how the hell we’ll entertain the kidlets come the post apocalypse. I’m sure that in the immediate aftermath of the end of the world, nobody’s going to care that there are a bunch of kids running around whining about being bored, because there probably won’t be any kids running around whining about being bored.

And if there are, I’m sure you could just point them in the direction of a collapsing building and tell them to find things for you. If you present it like a game, it will be fun and exciting. And dangerous, which will make it even more fun and exciting.

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A Discussion of CROSSED

Crossed is a graphic novel written by Garth Ennis, drawn by Jacen Burrows, and published via Avatar Press. The story is set in a world where suddenly there are people who “stop being nice, and start being real.” Unfortunately, “real” in this scenario is bloodthirsty, rape-crazy, and straight up ultra-violent.

Crossed” is how the infected in this universe are described because they develop a cross-like rash across their faces. The rash isn’t an issue. What is and issue is that fact that the infected, unlike other apocalyptic infected, want to rape you to death and mutilate you and destroy you as slowly and horrifically as possible. Because that’s fun now, and okay, because no one can or will stop them. Don’t get me wrong, the Crossed can and do feel pain — but they love it and it won’t slow them down. So, either kill them dead or don’t get caught.

One of the main themes in Crossed was not getting caught. Our protagonists pushed on and on in a constant effort to not get caught by the Crossed until eventually they realized that there are some serious flaws in a plan to live just so you won’t die.

anninyn and I both read volume one recently and needed to discuss it. So we did. Together. In detail. With spoilers, and swears, and graphic descriptions, and even some spoilers for the movie Serenity (which, if you haven’t seen you need to; so, go fix that ASAP).

Below is our discussion and we hope you join in on it if you’ve read the book too. Continue reading “A Discussion of CROSSED”