Post-apocalypse you’re going to need somewhere to live. You’ll want somewhere fairly secure, with access to land where you can grow food, and a lot of space for your growing community. But what you don’t want is one of these death traps.
Here are the worst places to try and build your new post-apocalyptic home.
Continue reading “The Worst place for a Post-Apocalyptic Home”
So, one of the most exciting aspects of a possible apocalypse is the exodus/migration/mass death and subsequent stuff left behind. Fuck all your base; all your shoes, chairs, scarves, medications, and fine dinnerware are belong to us!
When team morale is at its lowest and people are feeling all sorts of shitty and defeated. I’m going to lead them to your McMansion neighborhood and right up to your front door. We’ll take turns guarding the opening of the cul-de-sac your house is on, blocking the entrance with two Jeeps we stole from your local dealership. Snipers will take up post in your kid’s tree-house and that gazebo in your back yard. I’ll line my sad sack, rag tag team up on your front lawn and give them each a fist-sized rock from your decorative walkway. Then, on the count of three, they’ll hurl the rocks through your picturesque bay window like a bunch of drunken middle schoolers. Oh, the joy smashing through your pristine abode will bring us.
Continue reading “I can't wait to loot your house.”
Well, If I was at work when the apocalypse hit I’d probably run right out into the street to die. Or, I’d sneak myself into the building next door and say I’m the temp who just started that morning[1. Hmm, I think I’ll keep that one in my back pocket. Just in case.].
Most movies give us the impression that the apocalypse will hit when we wake up at 10am on Saturday morning. Upon seeing carnage in the streets or feeling tremors shake our house, we’ll pack up our families and our prized possessions. Then we’ll get in the car and frantically loot the well stocked stores nearby and team up with a nurse, criminal, and police officer at the local mall.
That’d be nice…
Unfortunately, most of us spend about thirty percent of our week getting to or being at work. If you’re in college then you could be any number or places on or around campus, but colleges do have amazing hideout potential (some even underground networks).
If you find yourself at work during the apocalypse and choose not to exile yourself, your first priority is saving yourself. Your second priority, however, is choosing your role. Not what you were at work, but what you want to be in this situation. It might be to your advantage to play up some stereotypes or lie a lot about who you are and what you’re capable of.
Continue reading “What to do if The Apocalypse Comes While You're at Work (or School)”
I have never answered this question honestly. My concern over the apocalypse forces me into a state of constant paranoia and readyness. Even typing this update, I am aware of three ways out of my house; where the nearest weapon is; where the nearest armour is and the best place to go for initial shelter. It’s time to be honest.
Continue reading “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
It’s in the North. Unless you’re from the North, then it’s in the East. Well if, like me, you’re in the Northeast, it’s in Canada or out West. Maybe down south in Florida.
Wherever it may be, it’s a vague and general direction far from where you currently are. There’s someone in your party who wants desperately to go there. It’s the brand new Promised Land where fast food and hot showers still exist, who wouldn’t want to go there? A Smarty Pants is who.
Just like weight loss pills that not only work but also won’t eventually blow your heart up or destroy your metabolism, it doesn’t exist. Never wholly at least.
Continue reading “The Mythical Land of Safety and Security and Free Food”
The MOST important thing for your survival is shelter, both short term and long term. The right shelter could keep you not only alive, but content and successful. The wrong shelter could leave you diseased, injured or dead.
I thought that a list of shelter types, with pros and cons would be the most helpful.
Continue reading “Shelter, and how to choose it.”