Apocalypse Crafts: DIY Projects to Survive and Thrive

Hey there, future apocalypse artisans! So, the end of the world is on the horizon, and you’re thinking, “What better time to unleash my inner crafting genius?” Well, fear not, because we’ve got the ultimate list of DIY projects that will not only keep you entertained but might just save your life in the post-apocalyptic world. Grab your glue guns, scavenged materials, and let’s turn the end of the world into a crafting extravaganza – casual, comedic, and confidently creative.

  1. MacGyver-Approved Weaponry: Let’s start with the essentials – weapons. Get creative with your DIY weaponry, turning everyday items into post-apocalyptic masterpieces.

    Think duct tape nunchucks, a broomstick crossbow, or a slingshot made from underwear elastics.

    Remember, safety first – for you, not the zombies.
  2. Scrapyard Armor: Fashion meets function in the apocalypse. Transform discarded tires, soda can tabs, and an old leather jacket into stylish yet practical armor.

    Who says you can’t look fabulous while fending off the undead? Walk the wasteland runway with confidence and a touch of DIY flair.
  3. Solar-Powered Phone Charger: Because even in the apocalypse, you need to keep those Instagram followers updated on your survival journey. Transform a broken solar-powered garden light into a makeshift phone charger. Stay connected and impress your fellow survivors with your resourcefulness.
  4. DIY Water Filtration System: Clean water is a must, and your DIY prowess can turn ordinary items into a water filtration system. Coffee filters, sand, and charcoal can be layered to create a makeshift water filter. It’s like turning your apocalypse hideout into a high-end spa – minus the cucumber slices.
  5. Can Tab Chainmail: If armor is your aesthetic, then crafting a chainmail shirt from soda can tabs is a must. Not only does it look post-apocalyptic chic, but it also provides a layer of protection against zombie nibbles. Who knew recycling could be so stylish and life-saving?
  6. Canned Goods Container Garden: Fresh veggies might be scarce, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a container garden. Use discarded cans to create a portable garden, growing your own post-apocalyptic salad. It’s like farm-to-table dining, but with a side of survival.
  7. DIY Distillery: When the world goes bottoms up, why not craft your own homemade hooch? Transform discarded fruit, a makeshift still, and a little patience into your very own post-apocalyptic distillery.

    Just be careful – no one wants to deal with a tipsy survivor during zombie watch duty.
  8. Paracord Everything: Paracord is the duct tape of the crafting world, and the apocalypse is the perfect time to put it to good use. Create paracord bracelets, belts, and even a DIY hammock for the ultimate survivalist chic. Who knew knots could be so fashionable?
  9. DIY Compass: Lost in the wasteland? No problem – craft your own DIY compass using a needle, a leaf, and a bit of water. Navigate the apocalypse like a seasoned explorer, and maybe impress your fellow survivors with your outdoor survival skills.
  10. Emergency Chocolate Ration: Because let’s face it, chocolate is a necessity, even in the apocalypse. Create your own emergency chocolate ration by melting down any remaining chocolate bars, mixing in nuts or dried fruit, and molding it into a survival-sized treat. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate.

There you have it – a survivalist’s guide to crafting in the apocalypse. From fashion-forward armor to makeshift weaponry and DIY distilleries, these projects will not only keep you entertained but might just save your life in the brave new world. So, grab your crafting supplies, unleash your inner MacGyver, and turn the apocalypse into a creative playground where survival meets style. Happy crafting, survivors!

The girls guide to post-apocalyptic dictatorship.

In the past, I have made a big deal about how in the post apocalypse, I WILL be a benevolent dictator in control of a large, well run compound. Some of you seem to seem to think I might be joking about this.

Oh, no, sugarbuns. I fully intend to be a dictator. I’m already spoiled, petty and quick to anger – dictatorship should be a cinch.

I can’t tell you HOW to build your compound – it requires a combination of charm, talent, leadership abilities, organisation and a basic, borderline sociopathic disrespect for the rights, opinions and feelings of other people that I just don;t think you can learn. But, I can give you some ideas about how to maintain your iron control once you have it. After all, you don’t want to screw up so bad they murder you, do you?

Continue reading “The girls guide to post-apocalyptic dictatorship.”

Your period post apocalypse.

OK, male readers. If you are squeamish about period talk, you may not want to read this one. But as a survival blog with female writers and a slant where we look at the stuff people don’t think about, you knew this was coming.

Women have periods. It’s a fact. There are things that can stop a woman having her period (being very underweight or overweight, pregnancy, certain medications, certain medical conditions, menopause) but, in general, if you are a female human between about 13 and 50 you are bleeding from your vagina every month.

Continue reading “Your period post apocalypse.”