What if the world already ended?

Every now and again, I watch the news on TV. I don’t usually watch the news because it tends to be worrying and depressing and makes me wonder the hell the world is coming to when every other story is about a murder, a bombing, a shooting, or some other neighborly thing like that.

Anyway. While recovering from a session with my personal trainer last week, I sat in the women’s locker room and watched CNN. (Before you ask, the locker room TV was tuned to CNN, I didn’t actually change the channel.) CNN was showing a segment about the Colorado movie theatre shooting (which, unless you’ve been living under a rock or possibly on Mars, you’ve heard about). The newscaster was talking about previous mass shootings, such as the one in Arizona that injured former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Virginia Tech, and, of course, Columbine.

All that positivity had me thinking, “What if the world has ALREADY ended?!”

No, really. Bear with me here. Remember last year, when Harold Camping predicted that the Rapture would happen on May 21? And then nothing happened and he was all “WTF?” and the world was all “Bahaha loser.”?

BUT. What if something DID happen? What the Rapture actually WAS on May 21, 2011, and NOBODY WAS SAVED?! (Yes, I’m well aware I probably just offended half a million people with that statement. Sorry, Bible Belt.)

What if we’re currently in the middle of the Tribulation?

Just a thought.

And now I’m going to go hide from all the really mad Christians who are offended because I suggested they weren’t good enough to be Raptured (luckily, I no longer live in the Bible Belt).


Good Old Harold Camping.

He’s decided that the world will be ending on the 21st of October, and that unlike his previous prediction that it will be a painless death for all us sinners and heathens.

Aww, how sweet. How nice to know.

This is after the last two or three predictions. Which were wrong. He’s not got the best track record on this.

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The evolution of religion

We all know that things will change in the post apocalypse. Even if you’re living under a rock, that rock is going to change (and possibly disintegrate) after the world ends. Aspects of our lives will change. Politics, social structures—all that will change. And…religion will change too. (Possibly not for the better.)

You might be wondering why I’m thinking about religion. It’s because I’m currently taking a religious studies class, which is, unfortunately, full of the ultra-super-conservative types. Also unfortunately, they are driving me freaking insane. And even more unfortunately, it’s only been a week.

Since I had to…I don’t know, share my not-so ultra-super-conservative views with someone, I bugged Ann on Google Talk this morning. Not so she could feel the pain with me (though misery does love company), but so we could discuss how religion might evolve in a post-apocalyptic society.

Because we love you, dear readers, here is an excerpted (and grammatically cleaned up) version of our chat.

*Warning: The following conversation may be considered controversial. But that’s kinda the point.*

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I Met Family Radio Fanatics and All I Got Was This Pamphlet

So, I went to lunch today and who do I see walking in front of me on Boylston Street?! YES. A Family Radio Fanatic. He was a sweet old man who explained I still had time to “cry out for mercy,” and said, “God bless” to me. And of course I said it back. I’m damned, not rude.

Crying out seems so shameless and flashy, though. Is it too late for simple repenting?

Continue reading “I Met Family Radio Fanatics and All I Got Was This Pamphlet”

What does your apocalypse look like?

I have no idea how I missed this, but apparently, the biblical Judgment Day (a.k.a. The Rapture) will occur on May 21, 2011. That’s right. The Rapture will happen THIS SATURDAY. The world will end (by fire) five months later, on October 21.

Well, according to some people. But that’s not the point.

Continue reading “What does your apocalypse look like?”