Post-Apocalyptic Personal Hygiene: Brush Your Teeth or Die.

It seems to be the common perception that in the post-apocalyptic world everyone will be happily filthy and there will be a beautiful sea of unwashed masses who eat grubs and live in abandoned basements.

This hypothesis overlooks the fact that for the last 100 years or so people have gotten used to being clean and coddled. The issue of personal hygiene is not simply about comfort, it’s about safety and survival.

Do you want to be the asshole who died from an infected pimple or an abscessed tooth?

Many of the daily grooming habits we’ll have to do without are things we’ve grown so accustomed to physiologically, that once they’re removed from our daily lives there will be a noticeable and traumatic impact.

Apocalyptic Movie: MONSTERS

I like rummaging through the slush on Netflix streaming and seeing if there’s anything I can sit through. Sadly, it’s not often I can find something in the apocalyptic genre worth sitting through much less worth recommending. The bucket seems to be heavily populated with made-for-TV movies that couldn’t make it on TV and what seem to be student projects. But sometimes I find a gem.

Monsters was one of these gems. The film is beautiful in a way that only science fiction and fantasy can manage. The characters are deep and real, and the environment is immersive. Continue reading “Apocalyptic Movie: MONSTERS”

Apocalyptic Video Game: ARMY OF DARKNESS DEFENSE (iOS)

Because I click almost every link I encounter[1. Yes, this has brought me to some strange places. No, I don’t get viruses; I practice safe clicking.], I discovered the most amazingly fun (and free) game on my iPod via an advertisement! A semi-side-scrolling, pseudo beat-em-up, defense game called Army of Darkness Defense. … Why yes, the game is based on the famously camp B-movies staring Bruce Campbell.

Army of Darkness Defense features characters from the Army of Darkness movie, such as Ash (including voice over quotes), Lord Arthur, and Duke Henry.

You play as Ash (and some kind of war god who controls the Smithy and makes the troops come) leading the charge of good guys defending the Necronomicon against the charge of the Deadite Army. Continue reading “Apocalyptic Video Game: ARMY OF DARKNESS DEFENSE (iOS)”

Walking Dead Season 2 (violent) Preview

If your job disapproves of the ole ultra-violence, then this is not safe for work (NSFW).

Woop. Looks like they’ll still be killing zombies in season 2. Hopefully season two is a little more… something. I don’t know what was missing, but there was something lacking. It was somehow both awesome and listless. Continue reading “Walking Dead Season 2 (violent) Preview”

What to do if The Apocalypse Comes While You're at Work (or School)

 

Well, If I was at work when the apocalypse hit I’d probably run right out into the street to die. Or, I’d sneak myself into the building next door and say I’m the temp who just started that morning[1. Hmm, I think I’ll keep that one in my back pocket. Just in case.].

Most movies give us the impression that the apocalypse will hit when we wake up at 10am on Saturday morning. Upon seeing carnage in the streets or feeling tremors shake our house, we’ll pack up our families and our prized possessions. Then we’ll get in the car and frantically loot the well stocked stores nearby and team up with a nurse, criminal, and police officer at the local mall.

That’d be nice…

Unfortunately, most of us spend about thirty percent of our week getting to or being at work. If you’re in college then you could be any number or places on or around campus, but colleges do have amazing hideout potential (some even underground networks).

If you find yourself at work during the apocalypse and choose not to exile yourself, your first priority is saving yourself. Your second priority, however, is choosing your role. Not what you were at work, but what you want to be in this situation. It might be to your advantage to play up some stereotypes or lie a lot about who you are and what you’re capable of.

Continue reading “What to do if The Apocalypse Comes While You're at Work (or School)”

Post-Apocalyptic Reading: Pocket Guide To The Apocalypse by Jason Boyett

This is not a review. I just bought a book and am too excited to wait until after I’ve read it to spread the word.

I generally get excited about bout books; but gosh, I love facts and short bursts of information. Those fact a day calendars were made for me [1. except I always binge and cheat by looking ahead to learn more.]. And this new book, is right up my alley.

At times, I can have a handicapped attention span. The worst is when I know I only have a little bit of time, like on the train on my way to work. It’s difficult for me to get into a book knowing I can only read in sprints here and there or risk missing my stop because I’m engrossed [2. I know, woe the problems of the first world citizen].

Jason Boyett’s Pocket Guide To The Apocalypse: The Official Field Manual For The End Of The World is a perfect cure for not only my morbid fascination with the apocalypse, but also my love of sample-size facts and short-burst reading.

(Also, it fits in my purse. I love books that fit in my purse. [3. Has anyone realized I’m a huge nerd yet?])

Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic Reading: Pocket Guide To The Apocalypse by Jason Boyett”

The Pros and Cons of Post-Apocalyptic Cults

I spent (and am still spending) the week at a giant national training mandated, organized, and run by my job. As I sat in theback of the auditorium and listened to people chant and cheer and say motivational things to one another and generally embrace the corporate culture, my mind began to wander.

What if motivational culture, structure, schedules, and tradition we all that some people brought with them through to the post-apocalyptic world. These things are what make many difficult situations tolerable. There is a shared language and bonding in the quirkiness and need for these tools.

However, if the situation did not call for these tools and the person on stage was not a motivational speaker but a tyrannical misanthrope, we’d have ourselves a cult [1. I have a very active imagination…].

I wondered what this would look like if that hypothetical tyrant on stage was speaking, not to employees, but to survivors. What would it look like, or even feel like if this was how every morning started before your rations were handed over. Many of your needs would be covered, from food to socialization and your survival would be based on community membership. The leader doesn’t even need to be a tyrant [2. but it’s more fun to think he is], Your leaders could simply be false prophets, motivational speakers, sales folk, a resourceful marketing team, a boy band, a cheer squad, or some other individual or small group with both charisma and a respect-demanding demeanor. Continue reading “The Pros and Cons of Post-Apocalyptic Cults”

Post-Apocalyptic Graphic Novels