GIANT BABY ZOMBIES: Language Game

Learning a language is a hard but important undertaking.

I’m constantly starting and then forgetting to finish courses on DuoLingo.

Hopefully, Giant Baby Zombies is the answer.

Giant Baby Zombies is a game that forces you to learn a language to beat it and save the world. Appealing to our sense of vanity might be the answer to forcing growth and development.

Maybe if the future of the world depends remembering the difference between camisa and comida people might be able to commit.

Zombies, Run was able to convince me to stay active because of an interesting apocalyptic story (and making me feel important). Maybe Wise Punch Games’ Giant Baby Zombies can get me to exercise my mind. Just the title is getting my imagination going… that’s part of the mind.

While language is important now, it will be will become especially relevant when navigating the post-apocalyptic world.

Giant Baby Zombies will launch around New Year’s Resolution season in 2018.

A batch of contaminated vaccines shipped to major cities around the world has led to an outbreak of Giant Baby Zombies. But not all is lost, their humanity can be restored.

Your biggest challenge, as a military programmer, is operating an 1960’s supercomputer in a language you do not know how to speak yet. Launch state-of-the-art audio rockets that contain de-zombifying chemicals, and most importantly an 8-track cassette tape of a local language, recognized by the Giant Baby Zombies.

What will you choose to learn? Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Spanish, Filipino, or English?

Name: Giant Baby Zombies
Price: $14.99
Release date: Early 2018
Platform: PC and Apple Mac on Steam
WebsiteGiantBabyZombies.com

Can't Live Without [June '17]

One-Punch Man

I recently crawled out from under my very cozy rock and discovered One-Punch Man. Actually, I was researching Anime Inspired Workouts on YouTube when I found a clip from One-Punch Man and decided I needed more of that in my life.

Light-hearted violence and dark humor are some of my favorite adjectives.  They’re also perfect descriptors for One-Punch Man. I could go on and explain what One-Punch Man is about but it really is self-explanatory.

Normally, being the lazy, easily distracted, C-student that I am, I avoid subtitled anime. If I wanted to read, I’d fall asleep with a book on my chest. I haven’t been able to find One-Punch Man dubbed, only subbed and lo and behold this has not deterred me. I get amped up watching (and reading) One-Punch Man on the treadmill.

Hyperbole has a real way of hyping me up. Continue reading “Can't Live Without [June '17]”

Math Apocalypse is every student's worst nightmare

If the only way to save the world is for me to do basic math, we’re all going to die.

Math Apocalypse is an Android app game that tasks you with the tremendous pressure of solving math problems to defeat aliens invading earth.

Seems pretty straight forward and totally plausible to me.

Aliens walk in with a math problem over their head. You tap in the (correct) answer and your character zaps them to death with a bolt of electricity. Seems easy enough. That is, until you realize math is hard.

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Math is especially hard when you’re being pressured because the problems are coming at you, threatening your life. Then the problems get bigger and harder and some aliens have multiple math problems.

This is truly a sick and twisted kind of apocalypse.

… But I really enjoyed it.

Math Apocalypse was written by someone who, while strong in the math department, is  probably not a native English speaker. The introduction story has a number of grammatical issues, so if you’re thinking of handing it to a child for training you might want to keep that in mind.

Other than that it’s a fun mix of academic challenge and apocalyptic fun.
It reminded me of playing Number Munchers when I was in grade school. It’s not bloody or violent but it gives purpose to brain training in a distracting way that’s enjoyable and makes you want to strive to do better.

You can set the game to just addition and subtraction or include multiplication and division in the mix too.

If you want to trick your kid into being smart or you’re looking to exercise your brain muscles instead of just your color-candy coordination, Math Apocalypse might be just the thing you’re looking for.

Best of all, just like the intuition that let me make it into adulthood without the ability to do basic math without my fingers, it’s free!

(It’s also available to play on the web Here.)

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I don't want to be last… (Zombies, Run! 5k Training)

I started doing Zombie’s, Run! again.  Why? Because I’m shockingly out of shape.

I imagine myself running from a shambling heard across a vacant parking lot or field.

The distance increases and I start to feel triumphant. Eventually, and by that I mean like 30 seconds, I start to tire and slow. They don’t.

I realized that even the Romero-esque slow-but-steady zombies would eventually over take me. If there’s nowhere to hide and it’s just a matter of  endurance, I’m fucked.

Last week I started my diet and exercise routine. My plan is to run every other day and alternate excuses motivating forces.

Six to Start, the creators of Zombies, Run! also make a 5k (a little over 3 miles) training app. This app has is great for people who like to set goals and alternate their running routine because running is boring.

Zombies, Run! 5k Training is a fantastic addition to the Zombies, Run! program because the characters and the universe overlap without anything but the first chapter of the story repeating. I was super concerned I’d be doing the same story with different prompts. It was surprisingly hard to find out that they’re different.

In the Zombies, Run! 5k Training program you’re still Runner 5 but you’re not running on a mission, you’re training to get faster because Able Township not only needs you, it needs you at your best.

I like to run inside on my treadmill because I’m an indoor kid and no one can see me. Unfortunately, when the trainer wants me to run for 15 seconds, I have a bit of a clumsy transition as it takes my treadmill about 30 seconds to get up to speed… I manage.

While I really enjoy both Zombies, Run! and Zombies, Run! 5k Training, I found there’s one major difference between the app I have on my iPod and the app I have on my Galaxy S3: The accelerometer doesn’t seem to know I’m moving… I don’t know if that’s an issue with my S3 or an issue with the app.

I’ll keep trying. [1. Fortunately, I’m on a treadmill so I can track my stats manually.]

Both programs link to Six to Start’s ZombieLink web situation where you can share stats (if your app decides to track them) and running routes and progress.

I realize $7.99 is a lot of money for app, but Zombie’s Run! is not just an app. It’s an audiobook, a choose your own adventure, a personal trainer, a progress monitor, and a game. If you want to get fit and be the star of a zombie apocalypse mystery movie, get the app. And if you want a bit of extra motivation and a change of pace, get the Zombies, Run! 5k Training app too.

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A Thug in Time [free app]

A Thug in Time is a new app game coming out for Android and iOS on July 16th featuering violence, the destruction of the human race, and more violence.

We can all agree that humans aren’t the most awesome end-users. Imagine you were the one of the creators the world and popped in to check out how it’s all been progressing. You might be pissed, and like those creators in A Thug in Time you might feel moved to just scrap it all.

A Thug in Time is a free app for iOS and Android and features:

  • Decapitate, freeze, burn as well as riddle with bullet and laser fire your enemies using more than 35 weapons
  • Battle through 65 levels set in four time periods: Viking-Age, Wild West, 1930’s mob infested Chicago and modern-day New York
  • Obliterate more than 20 types of unique enemies
  • No death animations, each kill has its own unique physics based reaction
  • Conquer time travel as well as eight bosses and their mini-bosses

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Zombie Dash (Android)

I didn’t have much hope when I downloaded Zombie Dash by Italy Games. It’s hard to find a good app game that isn’t just like some other app game. There’s only so much you can do on a touch screen and with the short attention span mobile games require.

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised with the high-speed, side-scroller.

Continue reading “Zombie Dash (Android)”

Review: Zombie Granny (Android)

Zombie Granny is not a game to just download and play on a whim. Sure it’s readily available and free[1. Our favorite Price] but it’s also missing a shit ton of images that take like eight years to download. My actual grandma’s make shit happen faster and Ms. Pearl was legally blind and thought my computer was damn near magical.

I found if I don’t let the device snooze and keep touching the phone it update more quickly… good start.

Yay! It finally finished.

My first impression is that it’s kind of a lot like Cut The Rope, but instead of trying to feed the frog candy you’re trying to kill the Zombie Granny with a fireball. Then, a few levels in, I thought it’s kind of like Angry Birds.

So, Zombie Granny is kind of like Cut the Rope and Angry Birds had a baby and it had a sick morbid sense of humor.

The gameplay is fairly simple and easy to get accustomed to, especially since the first few levels are tutorial levels. There’s a fireball attached to a rope and you cut the rope and drop the fireball on the unsuspecting zombie granny below.

While the gameplay is straightforward the concept kind of bothers me. Where’s my motivation? This poor old lady is just standing about, not even trying to munch on my brains and I just murder her like it a terrorist.

Next weird conceptual thing? Why are there fireballs just suspended from here and there? This isn’t even like a Mario dungeon level where the fireball are swinging around like traps and trying to impede your progress. These are like decorations.

Morals and logic aside, this is after all just a mobile phone game, the graphics are great and it’s super cute and wonderfully simple. This is a fun little zombie game with just the right about of snark and morbid nonsense to keep you entertained on a long commute or wait in a lobby.

[rating:3.5/5]

I’d let Zombie Granny live– at least until the water got low or she started to stink up the place.

 

Review: Stupid Zombies (Android)

Stupid Zombies by GameResort is your basic time-killing puzzle game.

Every lever hosts a small room occupied by a number of zombies, just standing around, and one gun-toting fighter. “Fighter” is an over statement. The man stands at the edge of the room and is unable to move anything but his arm.

Armed with five bullets and unable to move, the man must kill all the zombies in the room. Luckily, the stupid zombies don’t realize bullets bounce off walls and can move objects so they just stand there waiting to die like losers.

Sure the mechanics don’t make any real life sense but they stand within the confines of the game.  Charged with killing all the zombies in the room, you have a limited number of bullets and each bullet has a limited number of bounces. To win the level, you kill all the zombies without running out of bullets. To get the high score, you kill all the zombies with bullets to spare.

Stupid Zombies is a basic high-score app-game with unique mechanics and challenging levels. I didn’t feel like I was playing [Name of Popular Game] with zombies inserted and a little twist.

You don’t need to have an internet connection to play and it doesn’t draw too much battery power– which is good because my Instagram and flashy  transitions suck enough of its battery as it is.

The drive to get all the stars for the level or out do your last high score is a standard for app-games and works well here. I found myself replaying levels trying to finish with more bullets left over or get all the stars.

There are three sections and tons of levels in each section. You’re required to get a certain number or stars from the previous section to unlock the next.

For a free app-game, Stupid Zombies is fun and I recommend sparing a bullet on it.

[rating:4/5]

 

Kill 'em With… Cards? | Zombie Jombie (iOS)

Zombie Jombie is a new iOS game launching today from GREE. The well designed (artistically speaking) game sounds like a unique and interesting butload of fun:

The ultimate weapons – ZOMBIES – are under your control! In this twist of events, the zombies are finally the good guys, and now they are yours to use in battle against the nastiest humans around! As a Jombie (one who can control zombies), the fate of the planet is in your hands as you defend city invasions by evil bosses who will stop at nothing to achieve total global domination.

That sounds awesome! And the zombies are cartooney but not lame. Then I read on:

This new iOS-exclusive title is a free-to-play card-based game that invites players to harness the power of the undead using a powerful deck of zombie cards while defending the earth from evil humans hell-bent on destruction. Offering a series of social features including the ability to trade cards and play with or against friends, Zombie Jombie takes an unconventional approach to the zombie genre and brings a new type of gameplay to mobile gaming.

In Zombie Jombie, players battle tough human bosses and complete quests in major U.S. cities as a “Jombie” – a powerful being with a unique ability to raise and control zombies. To accomplish these tasks, players build and customize their own distinctive deck of cards by trading with friends, fusing multiple cards together, and opening treasure chests that unlock special content.

Because of the variety of ways players can upgrade and power-up their card decks, each Zombie Jombie player will have an exclusive experience. Zombie Jombie  will also have on-going content updates offering new game features and aiming to continuously enhance the player experience.

It sounds like the best idea for a game combined with the worst type of gameplay. People in asylums or old folks homes, or stranded without power, or using Windows 95 play card games by themselves. Sure, there’s Magic the Gathering and Munchkin ect. but you play those with people and for hours.

I’m going to have to check it out, because even though it sound a bit awful , it looks really fun and cute and silly and new and different…

and it’s FREE!

Find out more on GREE’s website[1. Do you think GREE rhymes with free intentionally?

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