For-profit Corporate Care Centers: Why Don't Corporations Literally Invest in Children?

With all the children living on the streets, in orphanages, or in prisons, maybe the best solution to the issue of these discarded children is one we haven’t tried yet: For-profit Corporate Care Centers.

Okay, hear me out. I understand that corporations, even though they can sometimes be considered people, can’t provide everything children need to be successful humans. Mainly, a loving household and the social-emotional whatever that teaches children how to act right in society. However, corporations can afford to hire people to provide those things.

Imagine an office building emptied of all the workers. Then that building is filled with classrooms, dorms, play areas, and everything else a child could want– including other children to interact with. The building would be secure and clean. It would stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer. There would be security cameras and guards. Signs would direct children where to go in an emergency (and they’d practice at least once a year). The cafeteria would have strict health and wellness guidelines and windows to the well-maintained grounds.

Corporate Care Center Science and Engineering Competitions!

There’s always a moral imperative to care for the children just enough so they’re clothed and fed. But eventually, the funds run low or another cause is sexier and the children are now a burden. A wonderful gift from God that must be dealt with… or not. Many an orphanage has just closed down without regard for the children inside.

Kids are annoying and parenting is hard and thankless work. Unless of course, you’re getting paid. In this Corporate structure, if the house mother gets tired of mothering or dies of old age, the company can just hire a new one. Hell, the company could have a little retirement community in the center.

Liability is always an issue for corporations. Liability is likely why this concept has never been attempted. Liability and greed. Why funnel money into the future when the executives could all get boats as bonuses now?

The corporation would be able to train children in the skills they valued the most. Does the corporation feel there is a lack of engineers, scientists, ninjas? Let’s make more! And let’s make them loyal and well-adjusted. These centers would be a source of pride and competition.

Instead of a brothel or factory, the children would work at the science fair (of course all creations and breakthroughs would be the property of the corporation).

These children are going to exist no matter what and then they’re going to grow up…

Why should they start and end their lives in metaphorical (and sometimes literal) trash heaps? Shit luck is surely a large part of minors ending up in this area. But then again, luck is also a large part of ending up in an area that happens to get humanitarian aid.

Instead of children being lucky enough to survive a high-profile disaster they children should be intercepted the way traffickers do. Except instead of selling them, they should invest in them.  A child who is nurtured, educated and ensured of their self-worth will grow up to be a valuable asset to society.

Snatch the children off the streets and from parents who would leave them in gutters to die. then give them the best lives a child could imagine (except for the “traditional” family part). Importantly, never offer anyone any money for a child. The exchange of money would inevitably lead to a  shady industry where children are sold rather than rescued.

If people take issue with Corporate Care Centers raising children, they can adopt the kids them selves…

People will have issues with loads of things that don’t affect them in any way. If the children are safe and thriving then STFU. Maybe people will be upset the children aren’t being educated on the wonders of religion. Maybe people will think the children won’t understand the world because they don’t have a heterosexual Mother and Father.

The moral majority will have opinions about everything and solutions for nothing. If we look at the state of children’s lives across the world we can’t deny that something must be done.

Check out these delightful facts and figures from UNICEF’s The State of the World’s Children 2016:

  • Over 165 million children will live on no more than US$1.90 a day – 9 out of 10 will live in sub-Saharan Africa.
  • Almost 70 million children under the age of 5 will die of largely preventable causes – and children in sub-Saharan Africa will be 10 times as likely to die as those from high-income countries.
  • More than 60 million children aged 6 to 11 will be out of school – roughly the same number as today.
  • 750 million women will have been married as children


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