Thinking of proposing? There's an app for that

Okay, so, confession time: I dislike Valentine’s Day. Probably because I spent way too many of them single (well, before I got married). Back then, I used to think of myself as a hopeless romantic. Sometime in the last decade I realized I was just hopeless.

Ironically, when I owned up to that, I met my now-husband. (I guess there’s something to be said for that be-true-to-yourself stuff, hey?) Also, Hubby’s a lot better at this romance stuff than I am. I mean, I actually FORGOT Valentine’s Day last year. He came home with a card and flowers and I looked at him and said, “Uh…what are the flowers for?” And he laughed and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, honey.”Um. Yeah.

What can I say? I’m romantically stunted. I read romance novels because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to realize that not everyone is as inept as I am when it comes to love and romance.

Ahem. Anyway. I suppose I don’t really have to say that I am one of the few non-romantic females on the planet. And I probably really don’t have to say that the vast majority of females demand romance, particularly on days like Valentine’s Day. They want the chocolate, the roses, the candlelit dinner, the whatever else it is you’re supposed to have during a romantic evening out with your significant other.

Some of them even want marriage proposals–yes, on Valentine’s Day. (I know, right?)

So if you’re the one who’s thinking of doing the asking, how do you know if she/he is going to say yes? After all, you don’t want to be That Guy, do you? You know, the one who puts the proposal up on the Jumbotron, and then gets turned down? The one who watches the Other Half (a.k.a OH) run away as fast as possible–along with the rest of the stadium (and possibly the country if it’s a televised event)?

I didn’t think so.

But never fear, there’s a (Facebook) app for that!

Interflora, the flower company in the UK, has created the Love Machine app, which will give you an idea whether or not the OH will say yes or, you know, scream and run away.

How does it work? It’s pretty simple actually. Once you like Interflora’s FB page you can access the app. Then you answer some questions, and the Love Machine will give you a percentage of the likelihood of your OH saying yes.

Nice, hey? If you get a score lower than, I don’t know, 100% (heh) you can hold off and step up the romance a little. Or something.

Please note that one of the questions is location-specific, and the locations are restricted to the UK. (When I answered the questions, I just picked a place at random.)

Here are some stats that Interflora discovered while they were building the app:

  • women are more likely to say yes
  • both men and women from East Anglia and Scotland are more likely to say yes
  • both men and women are more likely to say yes if they have a child together (or have a pet together)
  • women are reluctant to become stepmoms (gee, can’t blame them at all) and are more likely to say no if the man has a child from a previous relationship
  • both men and women are more likely to say yes if they work in finance, retail, or education
  • men in the media or publishing are more likely to say no

So, obviously the best way to guarantee your OH will say yes is to “move to Suffolk, buy a fish and get a career in finance.” (Quoting the press release.)

Oh, in case you’re wondering, apparently I have a 59% chance of Hubby saying yes if I were to ask him now. Good thing we’re already married.


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