Post-Apocalyptic Beauty Ideals

Maybe youll be pretty after the apocalypse…

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It’s hard to say.

Society often defines beauty by what it finds important or aspirational at the time. Should women look serene because they don’t have to work hard, strong to evidence her ability to preserver, fertile indicating they can convive and bear children, or maybe like expensive acquisitions?

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Today an attractive woman by general, societal standards is hardly the first person anyone would choose to be part of their post apocalyptic band of survivors. Shit, most of the women on magazine covers and starring in CW shows wouldn’t even make durable sex slaves for longer than a few days. It would be a waste of a raiding party to go out and grab some flimsy-ass women who’ll last less time than the hunt.

In the post apocalypse women who can’t last more than three days without food wont last.

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There will be no fainting couches and once you go from sexy-thin to grossly gaunt you’ll realize chivalry died along with the vegans.

A woman in an apocalyptic wasteland looking to be more than less than or equal to men will need to consider more than just health and stregbth. Not that health and strength wont be at the top of any potential mate’s list. But women of the the wasteland will need to think about outward signs of durability in the long-term.

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Some things a potential mate might see as beautiful in the post-apocalypse


  • The ability to run far and fast.
  • A generally healthy appearance
  • Muscle tone.
  • Free of signs of poison ivy or sunburn


  • Somehow looking smarter than the average survivor.

The Look

  • An unfuckwithable face. (All the movie heroines have it. Aeryn Sun, Alice, Zoe)


  • The ability to whisper effectively is important
  • A soft and plesant voice will also be welcome after listening to all the violent screams in the night.

3 thoughts on “Post-Apocalyptic Beauty Ideals

  1. I totally agree with this! I myself was thinking about what use “lads mags” women would be post apocalypse, and the only thing I think of is as prostitutes! I’m obviously not saying all beautiful women are only good for one thing, but as far as professions go, big titty models, come the apocalypse, won’t be of much use! I might start The Glamour Model School of Survival! And help these gals out – just in case! Us girls need to stick together!

  2. WTF does sunburn or poison ivy have to do with anything….most people with northern european ancestry will sunburn.

    1. If someone is worrying about sunburn and poison ivy, they’ve got more woes and weaknesses than those who don’t. I’m not allergic to poison ivy so I can hide (or even live) in the bushes without the adverse effects of hives and oozing rashes. Similarly with sunburn, if you burn, you present a weakness that lowers your chances of survival and limits the ways (or distances) you can travel safely.

      Though if we’re invaded by aliens and have to limit all our travel to the cover of night, it’s a moot point.

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