How'd you even get here? Our Google Questions Answered.

Today I answer the important questions brought to us by our Google search results…

…everything from surviving an apocalypse to styling yourself to look like you survived an apocalypse.

1. How to rebuild society?

Lots of hard work, my dear searchers! But the question is this: given that it will be impossible to rebuild it back to what we have right now, at this time, wouldn’t it be better to put the effort into making something better?

2. What to do in an apocalypse:

Attempt not to die. For further information, please read the archives.

3. What will the apocalypse be like?

Hot. Cold. Full of zombies. No zombies at all. It depends on the apocalypse. All we know for certain is that it will be pretty hard and nasty.

4. Wife Swap Stewart Family, where are they know.

I Don’t know. On Mars, maybe?

Background: The Stewart was a family featured on Wife Swap Season 6, episode 9. They believed DEEPLY in the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse. They made interesting choices based on those beliefs, including but no t limited to being Preppers and leasing furniture that didn’t have to make payments on until 2013… Since December 21, 2012 came and went without a hitch, people tend to wonder what happened with this well-prepared family. I think it’s safe to assume they kept prepping but stopped announcing exact dates and times they planned to forfeit on their financial obligations.

Plague Mask5. How to Make a Plague Mask:

What type of plague mask? Because it could be a simple as a paper filter mask over your face, OR you could make one of these.

In which case, they were made out of supple leather with sweet-smelling herbs stuck in the nose cone.

6. Reasons why Aliens would come to earth:

Our sweet-ass fast food restaurants, obviously.

7. How to give clothes an apocalyptic look:

Tear them. Kick them around on the ground. Scrunch them up and pour watered-down bleach on them, and then watered down dyes on them. Bleed on them.

8. How could humans survive an apocalyptic world

Forward planning. Hard work. Luck.

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