Child transportation in the post apocalypse

Okay, so, my post last week was a total anomaly. I won’t even link to it :-p. This week’s post also has pictures, but they’re pictures of real things. (No, really, they’re real.)

Let me explain. Last week, Ann asked me if I’d thought about how I’d transport my kids in the post apocalypse. One of her friends has a child who’s roughly the same age as my oldest, and sometimes this child gets tired after walking around for a long time. Because who wouldn’t?

So, then, we thought, how do you transport your kids if they’re too big to carry, but too young/small to have the energy and stamina to walk everywhere? Nowadays we have strollers and such, but will they still be around in the post apocalypse?

I wasn’t sure. I mean, those cheap dinky umbrella strollers won’t last more than fifteen minutes in rough terrain (I’ve tried). So then I thought, what about the all-terrain strollers? You might be thinking, “All-terrain strollers? They HAVE those?” And I would have to reply, “Why yes, they do.” My favorite brand is Chariot Carriers, partly because they’re Canadian, and partly because their products are made of all sorts of awesome. We had the Cougar:

The Chariot Cougar. Image from Chariot Carriers. Click on photo to get to product page.

But! Then I thought, “An all-terrain stroller is great and all, but what if you need to protect yourself?” As much as I love those Chariots, they’re not going to be much help if you’ve got a zombie breathing down your neck.

So I went on a hunt for defensive/offensive strollers. And I found some.

Now, for a comparison, I’ll show what stroller my kids currently ride in. It’s a great stroller, don’t get me wrong. It’s the City Mini Double, and it’s fantastic for the pre-apocalypse world. Post apocalypse, who knows?

City Mini Double stroller in red, which is the same color as mine. Image from Click photo to get to product page.

Nice, yes? But notice its lack of defensive and offensive capabilities. What are you going to do if you get attacked by some nutjob who wants to steal your baby?

Enter…the gun stroller.

The gun stroller from designer Shi Jinsong. Image from Click on photo to get to original post.

Now THAT’S what I’m talking about.

But what if your baby is a ninja? What if YOU’RE a ninja and don’t use guns? No worries. There’s a stroller for that, too.

If your baby is a ninja, this is his stroller. Designed by Shi Jinsong. Image from If It's Hip, It's Here. Click on photo to get to original post.

I’m really starting to like designer Shi Jinsong. It’s like he’s thinking forward to the apocalypse already! My kind of guy.

But, I understand that not all of you will have ninja babies, nor will you want to outfit your stroller with automatic weapons. I get that. There’s nothing wrong with a rifle, after all.

Don’t worry, there are strollers for you, too. Take a look at this tactical stroller:

A tactical baby stroller, outfitted with rifles. Image from Click on photo to get to original post.

But what if you’re not into guns? Or shurikens? Or, hell, what if the Empire strikes back and hits Earth by accident?

That’s okay. There’s a stroller for that, too.

The Star Wars Imperial Walker stroller. Just in case the Force isn't with you. Image from Geekologie. Click on photo to get to original post.

Since no one has any idea when the apocalypse will actually hit, I suggest you look into getting one of these for your kids now, while we still have time.

My only question now is, where do I get me one of these?

2 thoughts on “Child transportation in the post apocalypse

  1. Okay the Shi Jinsong designs are incredible. But the Landwalker stroller is just amazing. What would be better if the baby in that stroller was holding a stuffed Wookie!

  2. I know, the Landwalker stroller is awesome. Now, if only someone would make an Enterprise double stroller, I could embarrass my kids for life. Hehe.

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