Author: char

Apocalypse dating

Posted on by char

A couple of months ago, I wrote about falling in love during and after the apocalypse. Generally, falling in love involves meeting people and, you know, dating. So, unless your post-apocalyptic society has decided that arranged marriages are the best thing for love since Cupid invented online dating sites, you’re going to have to enter the dating world.

Unfortunately, there’s a chance the Internet will no longer exist—or will no longer exist in its current form. Either way, those handy online dating sites will likely not be around to help you meet The One. Which means you’ll have to go old school: meeting people and dating in person.

Shocking, I know. Also possibly terrifying. And potentially awkward.

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Being selected by natural selection

Posted on by char

Despite what some people think of him and his theories, Darwin was definitely onto something when he came up with natural selection. He was right, too—only those who’ve adapted enough to survive in a particular environment will, well, survive.

If you think about it, post-apocalyptic Earth will be natural selection come to life. People who can’t adapt to their new environment will die. Or they’ll be eaten by zombies, turned into vampires, or assimilated by aliens and/or evil robots. Either way, they won’t be around to share their lack of survival skills.

If you’ve managed to live long enough to get to the post apocalypse (meaning you didn’t die during the apocalypse itself), then you’ve got a leg up already. Congratulations, you’re one of the survivors. But don’t think this means things are going to get easier. Oh no, the hard part’s just begun.

Because now, you have to stay alive.

Good luck with that.

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Post-apocalyptic babyproofing

Posted on by char

The last time my toddler tried to climb the oven door to see the fun things that were happening on the stove, I had this crazy picture flash into my head. It was of my toddler climbing the ruins of a building somewhere in post-apocalyptic Earth and then falling off, only to be impaled by some random ruins below (or eaten by zombies that happened to be wandering by).

I realized a few things after this mental image popped into my head:

1. My daughter follows this climb-fall cycle far too often.
2. I have an overactive imagination.
3. What the hell are parents going to do for babyproofing post-apocalypse?

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Post-apocalyptic holidays

Posted on by char

My apologies for getting this post up late. My husband and I decided at the last minute to go out of town for the long weekend. So we loaded up the van, packed up the kids, and took off for parts unknown (well, unknown to us, anyway).

But the trip got me thinking—what will happen to the holidays after the apocalypse? By holidays I don’t mean vacations, I mean the major holidays. Days like Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving—that sort of thing. Would the holidays still be celebrated? Would anyone remember them? Would anybody care?

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Do you have your apocalypse survival plan ready?

Posted on by char

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is ready for the zombie apocalypse.

They released their zombie survival plan last week.

A survival plan isn’t a bad thing. It can help you in the midst of the apocalypse, when you’re fighting the urge to run screaming for the hills (assuming those hills aren’t overrun with zombies). It can even be helpful now—a plan for surviving zombies or evil space monkeys or whatever can probably get you through, say, a mutating flu virus outbreak. Or a hurricane. (Not saying it’s guaranteed, because I can’t guarantee anything, but I’d say it’s probably a safe bet.)

So what information do you need to include in your survival plan?

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What does your apocalypse look like?

Posted on by char

I have no idea how I missed this, but apparently, the biblical Judgment Day (a.k.a. The Rapture) will occur on May 21, 2011. That’s right. The Rapture will happen THIS SATURDAY. The world will end (by fire) five months later, on October 21.

Well, according to some people. But that’s not the point.

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Survival training for the little ones

Posted on by char

By “little ones,” I mean kids. Though I suppose it can mean anything else that could be called a little one.

Obviously, survival is going to be a big deal after the apocalypse. If you don’t focus on your survival, you won’t survive.

Period. For some people, survival might come naturally. For others, it might take some training. Either way, it’s probably a good idea to train everybody in your group.

Even if you’ve got a good handle on finding food and water, you’re still going to need to know how to defend yourself. Having a stash of ninja throwing stars isn’t going to help you if you just keep dropping them on your foot while the other guys take off with your food.

Everyone’s going to need training. Even (especially?) the kids. This shouldn’t be a surprise; parents train their kids now, and the world hasn’t ended yet (well, not technically, anyway). Think about it: as a parent, you teach your kids when they’re young to not talk to strangers and to look both ways before crossing the street. What’s that, if not a form of survival training?

Sure, the circumstances will change once the world goes to That Place in a handbasket. But you’ll still need to teach your kids (and everyone else in your group) how to survive and how to defend themselves.

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How to make friends and influence zombies

Posted on by char

There’s no doubt that friendships and networks will be important in the post-apocalyptic world. After all, people will need to band together for protection and survival. While making friends with other survivors may not be a requirement, it’s probably a good idea. Since there’s safety in numbers, you never know when you’ll need someone to watch your back. And, you know, finding a survivor group to join will probably be easier if people in that group actually like you.

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The family bomb shelter: yay or nay?

Posted on by char

During the apocalypse, you’ll have to consider how to protect your family.

This is especially true if you have children. The apocalypse is sure to be filled with chaos (not to mention things exploding and people shooting at each other), and protecting yourself—let alone your family—could be difficult or near impossible.

There will be tough competition for food, water, and shelter, so you’ll have to fight for basic necessities. You’ll probably also meet scary and terrible bad guys who are intent on killing you for being in the way, or eating you because you’re in the way and it happens to be lunchtime.

This doesn’t sound like a very good environment for children, now does it? I thought not.

But how can you guarantee protection and shelter, at least during the apocalypse and in its immediate aftermath? Well, you can’t (sorry). You might, however, have a better chance of having shelter and supplies if you build a bomb shelter and keep it well-stocked. Keep in mind, though, that a bomb shelter would have to be built before an apocalypse—as in, you’d have to start building now.

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Apocalypse preschool: Developing a survival-based curriculum

Posted on by char

In child development, the time between infancy and kindergarten is one of the most important. During this time, children learn the basics, like the alphabet and numbers. It’s also when they learn basic (but important) life skills, like how to go to the bathroom in a place other than their pants.

This won’t change after the apocalypse. Those crucial early years will remain just as crucial, though the education system will probably change.

I imagine it’d be a little tricky to send little Johnny off to school when he’s living the nomadic survivor lifestyle with the rest of his survivor group (or survivor band, or survivor tribe, or whatever you want to call it—personally, I like tribe).

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