Author: anninyn

Review: Dinocalypse Now by Chuck Wendig

Posted on by anninyn

Dinocalypse Now  is the first book in The Dinocalypse Trilogy – Evil Hat’s first move into fiction, written by Chuck Wendig, and set in the wild-and-crazy early-20th-Century pulp universe of Spirit of the Century. In it we follow the adventures of six heroes, Centurions of the Century Club (including one talking ape!), as they take on a world-spanning invasion of psychic dinosaurs from beyond time itself. [1. Review copy provided by Evil Hat]

YES. YES YES PLEASE FUCK GOD YES.

Oh I am so bored of Zombies and Guns and something this crazy is JUST WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW.

It doesn’t hurt that I’ve long been a fan of Chuck Wendig – his writing advice is brilliant, and his novel Blackbirds is one of the best I’ve read this year – and I’ve played a few Spirit of the Century games too – that whole alternative past with fantasy elements thing is MY thing.

Dinocalypse Now manages to completely avoid ALL of the problems I talked about in this post. It features interesting, unique characters who seem like real people, a breakneck, unusual plot – I actually cannot fangirl about it enough, so…

Let’s start from the beginning.

Dinocalypse Now is a book that is almost impossible to describe. If you try, it sounds like a mess… but it works. Oh, it works.

In Dinocalypse Now, the Centurions are the heroes of the Century club, a group of protectors. While trying to protect the president, they are attacked by Saurians… and from there the plot takes off with ridiculous speed. There are so many fantasic things about this book that would be spoilers if I explained them.  But suffice it to say the events grab the reader and take them away on a journey that would seem ridiculous if I explained it, but seems believable as well as fun when you’re reading it.

The writing in Dinocalypse Now is sharp and competent and descriptive, the characters well sketched and believable, and the whole thing is a wild ride of awesomeness. It’s sheer pulp, with airships and dinosaurs and talking apes and beautiful wench wrenches and love triangles and… and… and.

It’s a quick read, which I know is important for some of you (though myself I prefer a slightly more leisurely pace – that would be my only real criticism here).

Look, I find it really hard to review stuff I genuinely love. Is Dinocalypse Now great literature? No. Is it hella fun? Yes! Is it perfect? No. Is it utterly readable? Yes! Is it for everyone? Almost certainly not. But I love it. And if you like ridiculous, cracky plots, excellent characters, sharp writing, and a well-captured pulp sensibility, you’ll love it.

I look forward to the others.

You can buy it here.

I give it [4/5 stars]

Apocalyptic Literature: What I want to see.

Posted on by anninyn

Because of ICoS I now read more apocalypse-related books than ever before. I buy them with my own money AND get them sent free for review, and then I tell you about them, whether they’re good or bad. Hell, some of the books I write are apocalypse-related. So, after more than a year of reading about the apocalypse, I have a list of things I want to see  more of in future apocalyptic literature.

Better Writing:

It’s not that the writing in these books is bad. It’s usually perfectly competent. But it could be more powerful, more evocative – just more – with harsher editing. If you’re writing apocalyptic literature (especially if you’re going the self-publishing route) I’d recommend two books which will help you get it as good as possible. The Elements of Style and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers. You should pick up Chuck Wendig’s books as well, but they’re less about editing and more about kicking your arse to get writing your crap, already, so that one is up to you. But the other two? Please, just do it. I’ve read loads of books with really interesting stories let down by poor editing.

Better female characters:

Most of the apocalyptic literature I’ve read was by men. The problem was, a great many of their female characters were cliches – irritating, insulting cliches at that. Remember that women are human beings rather than a collection of stereotypes. I don’t mind if one woman in your story is useless, but I start getting suspicious if she’s the only character that is, and then I’m outright judging you if ALL your women are useless. When I say ‘Better’ I mean I believe in her as a human being. Having her display some personality traits other than ‘screaming chick who needs to be rescued’ would be great. I sincerely doubt that post-apocalypse we would have time or room for ‘traditional gender roles’ anyway. While we’re at it, can we stop writing it so that even the good guys are enacting forced breeding? It’s rape, it’s skeevy and the good guys shouldn’t be forcing HUMAN BEINGS into a position where they are being abused and brutalised.

Better characters IN GENERAL.

While I find believable, relatable female characters are few and far between in apocalyptic literature, I also find that in nearly every book I’ve read the same character archetypes pop up. The grizzled, damaged war veteran. The girl who’s only a bitch cause she was raped.

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The creeper who betrays the group. Look, character archetypes exist for a reason, but if I can predict what your characters will do within the first 10 pages, it’s BAD. Do something new with them, something unexpected. Make the war veteran a perky, cheerful man with no dark past.

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Make the creeper loyal and caring, just socially awkward. Make the woman a bitch because she’s figured out that being bitchy gets stuff done. Stop relying on old, well-worn paths. Make your own.

More imagination and ingenuity:

By which I mean – write something different! There are no new stories under the sun, but there is a trick to this – write it in such a way that seems new. Add something, take something away, I don’t care what it is, but just write something different. The books are starting to blend in together now, because they’re all so similar.  The main reason I’m getting bored of zombies is that not only are they everywhere, but they’re the same bloody thing in each book. CHANGE SOMETHING. Write as though you’re setting a new standard and starting a new trend. Please? For example, check this out:  Dinocalypse Now. It’s apocalyptic literature, but it avoids the tired old tropes and boring setting, and it looks loads more fun.

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Actual Research:

How would the area you’re writing in respond to an apocalyptic event? Desert, jungle, overgrown woods? Research it. How many bullets can that gun fire without jamming? If it’s been uncared for for 18 months? Research it. What does a nuclear bomb do? RE-FUCKING-SEARCH IT. If you get it wrong, people who KNOW that you got it wrong will be pulled out of your story immediately. Sure, it’s fiction. But fiction needs to seem as if it’s real to the readers, and if you get it wrong… For my current novel (which is terrible and will never get published because MY GOD) I am researching radios. My girl is a ham radio enthusiast, so I need to know at least the basics of the different types, how they work, how you’d fix one. If you’re writing a novel – even one based in a world where everything has changed – and there’s a siege, you need to research seige warfare. RESEARCH.

Bottom line: This is writing. It’s not a thing you should do because you think it’s easy money or fame (it’s really not). It’s not something you can just churn out and have it be OK. It’s something you do because the love of it means it’s the only thing you CAN do. Which means you need to do the best you can, write the best, most amazing thing you’re capable of. Don’t be scared, or small, or dull with it.

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Get down right into the filthy guts of it all, and be incredible.

Please, I’m begging you.

What do our readers want to see from post apocalyptic literature in future? Talk about it in the comments.

If you have something tasty and apocalyptic that you’d like reviewed, we’re always happy to do it. If your book fits these guidelines, you’ll get a much more positive review than if it doesn’t. Just email anninyn at incaseofsurvival dot com and I’ll get back to you.

Feature: GeekChic cosmetics

Posted on by anninyn

One one of my forays into the internet, I was pleased to discover GeekChic cosmetics. I immediately clicked on that link. I love makeup, I love being a geek. Fortunately, the name lived up to the expectations.

GeekChic produce a makeup range that not only is cruelty-free and allergy friendly (important things), but also has one of the best range of nerd-culture inspired colours I have ever seen.

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The eyeshadows range in colour from delicate, light, pretty shades all the way through to deep crimsons and true blues. Every single eyeshadow is named after a geeky thing, and the collections are named after TV shows and Games. For example, go take a look at the Geeks vs Zombies pallette, and tell me if it isn’t just the most perfect thing you’ve seen. Not only that, but GeekChic’s foundations have a good range of colours as well – it’s one of the few makeup brands where all three of the ICoS girls would be able to buy a foundation that blended.

Not only that, but as everything at GeekChic is based on mineral formulations, it’s good for your skin too – and it keeps, unlike liquid foundations, meaning that if you stock up you can be made up well into your post-apocalypse lifestyle.

We asked the GeekChic girls a few invasive questions, and we give you their answers for your files.

1. Who are you, I mean, really?

What an exestential question. I’d like to think that I am awesome, but awesomeness is subjective.

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As far who Geek Chic Cosmetics is, we are an organization 4 like minded people who have a passion for gaming and all things glitter. We are die hard workaholics, and spend way more time with each other than we probably should LOL. It doesn’t hurt that we all have a common goal. that is, to make really awesome products and make them the best we can. Oh, and we are all really close friends!

2. What is it that you do?

I personally wear many hats. I do all the packing and shipping, financials, taxes, graphic design, formulation, and management type stuff. On occasion I will answer emails too. Phil is our resident webmonkey and perfumer. Deb does all the nitty gritty production, filling, labeling, and a bulk of the product formulation. She also answers emails on occasion too. Gwynn is our resident Igor, she does all the PR stuff, and helps in pretty much every other aspect of the company. Basically whatever needs to be done that day, she has her hands in it. We all wear many fine hats!

3. When did you first realize you wanted to do that thing?

GCC was my brainchild a few years ago, and I knew that there was no way I could do it all on my own and Deb was the obvious choice as she is my best friend. As for the individual jobs we all do, we looked at our own personal strengths and assigned the jobs that were best suited to each person.

4. Where are you from (and how do you feel about that place?)?

I was born in Ogden, UT. I have really mixed feelings about being from Utah. I love that I have a family homestead that I can go visit to get back in touch with my roots from time to time, but I don’t care for the vibe in the state overall.

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It doesn’t really mesh with me as a person so well. But it will always be home cause that is where my family is.

5. Why would you make a good apocalypse party member?

I’m not convinced I would be a very good apocalypse member. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t last very long at all. I have a bum left leg and can’t really run so I think at the very least I would probably be the first to die. But I am very logical and can think of creative ways to do things so there’s that at least. I’d be useful for as long as I survived LOL.Prices start at $5.99 for an eyeshadow, though it’s usually cheaper to buy sets.

There's no power!

Posted on by anninyn

It won’t take long for the power to go out when the world ends. I bet you understand that, intellectually, but were you aware of just how much chaos there’ll be if the power craps out all in one go? Hell, the grid for my area went down for 20 minutes recently, and that meant two near-accidents and dozens of people wandering the streets looking confused.

“My TV is gone? Whaddido?”

I talked to my neighbours for the first time since moving in five years ago, that’s what I did. Then I sat on the sofa.

We’re so used to every element of our lives being technologically driven it can be hard for us to imagine life without it. Hell, unless you print our blog out, you won’t even be able to access it. And then what will you do when there are sentient badgers? (run.) No instant communication, no music on demand, having to rely on our own natural sense of direction and time sense… Not being able to write self-important comments on the internet (I think some people might just die at the thought. The internet is the only place they can think their opinion has weight and merit. Stop looking at me like that, I HAVE WEIGHT AND MERIT.).

They say civilisation is three meals from anarchy. Well, judging by the display of humanity the internet shows me on a regular basis, I think all it’ll take is a whole country unable to access funny cat videos for a day. I mean, these are the sort of people who care – I mean really, really care – if you liked a game they don’t, so much so they will threaten your life over it. That lack of self-awareness combined with that refusal to grasp proportion and the sheer level of mindless entitlement is a dangerous combination when something is taken away.

Trust me on this: People are awful, selfish monsters who are crap at disasters. You smuggos sitting there with ‘well I have generators and solar power’, what you gonna do when a whole load of people missing microwave popcorn come rushing down on you with makeshift weapons? The only good point is some of them are so babified by easy-use items that they’ve probably forgotten how to get out of the door. They certainly don’t REALLY know how to cook food found in the wild, or build a shelter, because shockingly for them watching re-runs of Man Vs Wild doesn’t give you practical experience. Neither does playing video games. So they’ll starve to death pretty soon waiting for the magic food pixies to come back.

And if my neighbours don’t come home and switch off their FUCKING alarm while I am trying to FUCKING concentrate I will find some way to shut down this whole city and watch it burn.

See? When humans are slightly inconvenienced, we respond as if someone murdered our dog and interfered with it’s corpse.

 

 

Review: Dawnguard | The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Posted on by anninyn

As the site’s resident The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim obsessive, it fell to me to play and review Dawnguard, the latest DLC. (It totally counts for our blog because in the storyline you are aiding or preventing a force that could ‘blot out the sun’, arguably an apocalyptic event. Sure, it’s a bit of a stretch, but you don’t get to judge me.)

For this review, I played thtough on the side of good. I usually do in computer games. In this case, I may use my secondary character to play through as evil later in the game. If I do, I will update this review with those experiences.

OK, so first things first, downloading it was quick. This is an important thing. The first thing I did was go make me some DragonBone weapons – I’ve been waiting for them and at 100 blacksmith I might as well. As I was wandering around Whiterun getting firewood for the arrows, a guard told me to join the Dawnguard near Riften, and that he was considering joining up himself. Not very subtle, Bethesda, but more so than the introduction of Knights of the Nine andThe Shivering Isles for Oblivion, so you are forgiven.  Me being me, despite spending 1600 MS points on this, I thought ‘no’ and carried on making DragonBone arrows. Because I’m contrary.

Dawnguard - image property of BethsoftAnyway, so I went ahead and started the plot. The first plot related area I saw was Dayspring canyon, and I was impressed – Skyrim offers beautiful surroundings and this was no different. While not drastically different to any other Skyrim areas so far, it was noticeably lovely to look at. The Vampires castle was equally impressive, and I love the difference between the Dawnguard fortifications and the Vampire fortifications – in completely different parts of the country, completely different buildings styles, colour, architecture – wonderful. It’s things like that that make this such a superior game. The new enemies are exciting too and the crossbow is fun to use.

I did notice, however, that downloading Dawnguard meant slower loading and saving times. It happens. My console has also frozen more frequently. This occured with the add-ons for Oblivion as well, so I’m thinking it’s probably an issue with the console.

Bad bits: Bits that should be fixed:

I think it’s a bit too easy to FIND the Dawnguard. Hear a guard talk, track them down. Perhaps there should be a slightly longer lead-in – perhaps you could be told to investigate, go to various settlements attacked by vampires etc. That’d be nice.

Bethesda games have always had oddish character reactions, but it seems especially strange that vampires can attack and kill members of a community, leave the dead bodies just lying there, and no-one really reacts – even the characters familes. I appreciate it would be hard to get the voice actors in to record new lines for every single eventuality, but an acknowledgement like ‘I’m so sad my sister is dead’ would be good.

Awesome bits (No plot spoilers!)

YOU CAN HAVE AN ARMOURED FROST TROLL HANGING ROUND WITH YOU.

Shooting dragons with arrows made out of bits of their dead mates.

Vampiric architecture.

GARGOYLES.

IT’S SKYRIM WITH VAMPIRES WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.

However, overall Dawnguard is a great add-on for the game, and sure to be of interest to Skyrim fans.

As for what it taught me about the apocalypse? That it’s fairly easy to either prevent it or bring it about if you’re a destined hero with the soul of an immortal dragon. I’ll get on that right away.

[rating:10/10]

(If you want more info on Dawnguard you should check the Bethesda Blog or the Elder Scrolls Wiki)

 

OK EDIT: After a speed-run of the whole game (which took 12 hours) my opinion has NOT changed. GET IT GET IT GET IT.

Be a zombie for pay!

Posted on by anninyn

It’s no secret that unemployment is high at the moment. But what would you say if you learned you could be a zombie for money? [1. unlike writing this article, which gained me no money at all. Come on, all I’m asking is for the CHANCE to be a whore for the advertisers.]

Holy fuck yes, am I right?

Well, you can.

Wish.co.uk, the people behind those ‘special experience days’ like driving a tank, are also behind the Zombie Mall and a new Zombie Manor House. Thanks to the amount of interest, they have decided to hold auditions for the role of ‘zombie’ at the Manor House.  In addition to competitive pay, new hires will also recieve movie-quality makeup and porsthetics to help them get into the role.

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Richard Kershaw, co-founder of Wish.co.uk, said:

“Hundreds of zombie fans from around the world have contacted us begging for work. Given the huge demand for our Zombie Manor House, we’re inviting these people to audition in front of our expert panel to see if they have the right stuff.

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”

“Why settle for a dead end job, when you can apply for an undead end job instead?”

TheManor House itself is near Manchester, so it would probably be best if you live in the area (my personal feeling is that many Mancunians won’t need much in the way of makeup to look like a zombie). Auditions, however, are being held in London’s famous Pineapple Studio on the 28th of June, so you don’t have much time.

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There are many ways to apply for the role, including posting a youtube video of yourself on their facebook page- but by far the quickest and easiest would be by clicking this link and following the instructions.

If getting a job as zombie isn’t your cup of tea, you can of course, book yourself an experience battling zombies there. All kit is provided. It costs £99 per person.

What would a zombie attack look like in your neighbourhood?

Posted on by anninyn

UK market comparison website confused.com have a cute little answer for you on that question. [1. I have not been paid to write this article, though if confused.

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com want to shove me £50 I won’t complain.]

Their Home Sweet Zombie mini-vid takes your address and uses it with images from googlemaps to simulate a zombie assault on your neaighbourhood. It’d be nice if there were a greater variety of zombie attacks to increase replayability, but you can’t have everything in this life, and perhaps expecting a lot of variety from an advert is a bit much. Still, it would be nice to see it go even further than a film on the website.

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It’s cute and fun, rather than terrifying and serious, but it’ss till a fun way to spend a few minutes – and you can send zombies to your friends. While you’re on the website you can get a quote for any kind of insurance you could wish – except Zombies.

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More insurance companies should consider Apocalypse insurance as an option – I’d buy it. And come on, even if a situation occurred that meant they had to pay out, the chances of an infrastructure that would FORCE them to existing is pretty slim.

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Guaranteed money, I reckon. Maybe I should set some up… what do you say, for just £2.50 a month, I’ll insure you against all kinds of apocalypse (robots not included). (Payout require both parties to survive the apocalypse. Depending on apocalypse type, payout may be converted into a similar value in food, barter, armour or space in a survival compound)

Any way, if work is boring you this friday afternoon, or you’re trying to ignore a partner or housemate, give it a try here.

Review: War against the Walking Dead – By Sean T Page.

Posted on by anninyn

More than 63% of people now believe that there will be a global zombie apocalypse before 2050…

So, you’ve got your survival guide, you’ve lived through the first chaotic months of the crisis, what next?

Employing real science and pioneering field work, War against the Walking Dead provides a complete blueprint for taking back your country from the rotting clutches of the dead after a zombie apocalypse. 

* Arm yourself with the latest scientific insight from the world’s leading zombiologists including startling new analysis on why survivors must fight back within the first years of the crisis or risk being crushed by unstoppable ‘meta-hordes’ of the walking dead.

* A glimpse inside the mind of the zombie using a team of top psychics – what do the walking dead think about? What lessons can we learn to help us defeat this pervading menace?

* Detailed guidelines on how to galvanise a band of scared survivors into a fighting force capable of defeating the zombies and dealing with emerging groups such as end of the world cults, raiders and even cannibals!

* A strategic plan on how to deploy anti-zombie forces including training your new militia, creating fleets of foraging ships and a microlight air force.

* Features insights from real zombie fighting organisations across the world, from America to the Philippines, Australia to China – the experts offer advice in every aspect of fighting the walking dead.

Packed with crucial zombie war information and advice, from how to build a city of the living in a land of the dead to tactics on how to use a survivor army to liberate your country from the zombies – War against the Walking Dead may be humanity’s last chance.

Remember, dying is not an option !

There are a lot of zombie survival guides out there these days. It seems I can’t go into a bookshop without seeing one – so how is the zombie preparer supposed to make a choice? Apart from the classics, where are they to turn, and what makes one zombie manual better than another? What should make you buy War against The Walking Dead? [1. provided for free by Severed Press. The author also attempted blatant bribery and corruption by including some cool rubber bracelets in the package. For future reference, I’ll take cash.]

Well, this one is a bit special, for one main reason.

Instead of covering the immediate aftermath of a zombie assault, as so many guides do, it focusses on the destruction of the zombie plague and the rebuilding of society. With sections on how to organise a community, trap and kill large numbers of the living dead, and how best to rebuild communities after the end it concentrates on an area we at ICoS find sadly under-represented in the survivalist world. Most survival guides concentrate on immediate survival, which is all well and good, but what about long term? What about rebuilding?

This is where War Against the Walking Dead comes in. With in depth coverage of how best to survive zombie assaults both small and large, the pros and cons of various survival compounds, and how to build a fighting force out of scared, hungry refugees, it really is an excellent resource. If this decently-sized tome hasn’t been enough for you, it includes lists of other websites and books to help you with your rebuilding plans (though we’re not on it. I DEMAND AN EDITED REPRINT.). Definitely worth the purchase price, and unlike many books of a similar kind, it is attractive as well.

In terms of the writing, it is very readable and informative, and in places very funny. There are flaws, of course, but the day a book without flaws is written is that day the world of writing and publishing collapses in on itself. In places the sentences can run on, and the writing can be clumsy. There are minor errors in grammar which, while they don’t ruin the book, had the misfortune to include some of my pet hates (the use of commas where – : or ; would be more appropriate), but if you aren’t the sort of person who ignores their own grammatical errors to concentrate on a little known grammar guideline, you’ll probably ignore it just fine – and ultimately, the occasional clunkiness doesn’t detract from the book at all.

Of most interest to ICoS readers – even the non-zombie kind – will be the sections on rebuilding and battle techniques – these were based on real techniques through the ages, and could be useful in any apocalypse – so any serious post-apocalyptic survivalist could do with this on their shelves.

Overall, an excellent zombie survival guide. Minor flaws knock 1 star off.

Rating: 4/5

As well as buying his book, you can talk to Sean on his website, The Ministry of Zombies.

Stress: It'll kill ya.

Posted on by anninyn

Stress. Our bodies natural response to emotional experiences. Stress can be good or bad, but most people agree that when the bodies natural fight-or-flight response is prevented, it can cause some problems – including but not limited to: headaches, heart attacks, strokes, IBS, stomach ulcers and over-eating. It’s important to remember that the Human Being is still an animal – a clever, emotional, complex animal yes, but most of our responses are still rooted in the animal.

You’d think that post apocalypse this animal reaction to stress would be great, right? Fight or flight? You’re going to be doing that a lot, and surely the nasty sides of stress won’t be such an issue any more.

Well, read on, my minions. Read on.

The problem with that theory is that while we are still animals, we are also still thinking human beings. Stress and trauma can be longer lasting for us, for a start. Even if the horrific expereinces don’t seem to have made a mark on your friend yet, that’s no guarantee they won’t be curled up, catatonic, in the fetal position in the next hour, week, month, year or decade. Add our huge, complex brains to the post-apocalyptic stress equation, and you have some serious problems.

And obviously, those more immediate problems come to mind – such as the heart attacks and strokes – after all, if one of your top fighters suddenly conks out in training, you’ve lost a great resource as well as a much loved member of your team. But it’s the more subtle stress problems that could be tearing your group apart from the inside. Thing like:

 

Emotional instability: which could lead to infighting, irrational thinking and even murders or suicides

Lack of sleep: Which could lead to guard missing something vital

‘Foggy thinking’ : which could lead to injury or death of the suffererand any people relying on them.

 

So, what it there to do? After all, you’re going to be extrememly lucky to have a trained therapist in your team, and the other options to deal with stress (yoga, healthy diets, etc) are going to be seriously premium.

Well, I suggest violence. Allow the stressed people to BEAT things and drink too much. It worked for the middle ages – and it’s not as if they were a time period where whole continents were ripped apart by civil and religious war while battling city states slaughtered men, women, and children… oh.

 

Well, just do the best you can.