Skills you'll need in the post apocalypse

A couple weeks ago, Ann wrote about post apocalyptic jobs. To do any job well, you’ll need a certain skill set. (Well, in theory, anyway.) Which is great for people who, you know, have skills that translate well in the post apocalypse. So people who have speed and endurance, people who can live in the wilderness of wherever for unknown lengths of time, people who can cook meals with random ingredients, and people who can break other people in half like twigs will probably have a leg up on everybody else. You know, like the people who sit in front of a computer all day (unless the post apocalypse has a lot of computers in it; in which case, there might be hope for me).

But let’s think about our individual (present) skills for a moment, shall we? Why? Well, because these are the skills that we’ll take with us into the post apocalypse, should the apocalypse happen tomorrow, next week, or December 21, 2012.

Most people I know are office workers. So, essentially, they sit at a desk, in front of a computer. All day. With the occasional breaks to file or photocopy something (and if your office is still in the 1990s, you might have to fax something).

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For example, many of my friends are accountants. I don’t know about you, but I don’t foresee a high need for accountants after the apocalypse. (Unless, of course, the apocalypse is somehow tied to complete and utter economic breakdown, throwing the entire world into a depression and rioting tailspin. Which would, of course, suck. But then, so would anything else involving the end of the world as we know it.)

What do I do? Well, I’m an editor, so I crush writerly dreams am pretty good with words. (As long as those words are in English. I sound like an illiterate moron in any other language but Pig Latin.) My other skills include Google-fu and snarkery.

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Which, unfortunately, won’t help me much in the immediate aftermath of the apocalypse, when everyone’s still trying to stay alive. It might, however, help me a little further into the future, after the tyrannical despot has risen to power and needs someone to look over his/her speeches and propaganda materials.

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(Which will, of course, be written by Ann and Tavia. Because we survivors have to stick together.)

But if I don’t make it past the initial (and important) post-apocalyptic survival window, I won’t be there to edit our future despot’s work. Which would be unfortunate for the despot, but also unfortunate for me, because I’ll be dead. Clearly, I need to do something about this.

I’ve come up with a (tentative) plan to increase my chances of post-apocalyptic survival.

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This plan includes building up my endurance (crap, I have to start jogging), learning to cook all sorts of things from all sorts of ingredients (except for bugs), and brushing up on my first aid certification (we’ll need first aid people, right?).

What’s your plan?

2 thoughts on “Skills you'll need in the post apocalypse

  1. I know how to set up a farm, work with most animals (big and small) – even how to let them breed. I’m quite strong – the sort of ‘I’ll send your teeth flying trough your brain if you don’t comply’ – and, this ‘ll help me out big time, I’m the kind of guy that never leads, but tells the leader what to do when his or her followers can’t see it. But, agreed, my endurance needs a lot of work. Nevertheless, if I live trough the first months, I’m quite confident there’ll be a place for me.

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