Halloween is hard for non-humans

You know how in movies or TV shows the main cast will head to a haunted house or hayride and surprise surprise there are actually dead bodies masquerading as dead bodies? Hate when that happens.

But I suppose dead bodies being actual is a better surprise than zombies really trying to eat my flesh.

I already hate answering my front door because of the fact that there’s a waiting human interaction. Imagine the horror (literally and social-emotional) when I have to figure out that to say to someone who not only doesn’t want my candy but also wants to come in and eat my flesh! Ugh. It’s hard enough trying to get rid of the Kirby vacuum people and they understand language.

Do I still need to be polite to real monsters on Halloween or does self preservation and my desire to only interact with real humans reign supreme? Is that racist?

Sorry monsters and zombies, but I won’t stock up on flesh though you’re welcome to candy, just like everyone else. And, human or not, if you try to get handsy or across the threshold you may end up decorating a local haunted house.

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