Map-Making 101: Navigating the Apocalypse

Alright, survivors-in-training, listen up! The end of the world is nigh, and you’re thinking, “How the heck do I navigate this post-apocalyptic maze?

” Fear not, because today we’re delving into the art of map-making – a skill that’s more crucial than knowing which canned goods are the tastiest. So, grab your compass, dust off your sense of adventure, and let’s craft a map that even Indiana Jones would be proud of – casual, comedic, and confidently crafted.

Step 1: Gear Up Like a Cartographic Boss: Before you embark on your cartographic journey, make sure you’ve got the essentials. A backpack, some paper, a few pens, a compass (because you’re not Magellan), and, of course, a snack – because map-making works up an appetite. If you’re feeling extra adventurous, throw in a hat for that explorer aesthetic.

Step 2: The Great Reconnaissance Mission: Time to channel your inner spy. Sneak around your area, take notes, and observe. Mark down significant landmarks – like that really gnarled tree that looks like it’s flipping off the sky. Note potential resources, danger zones (zombie nests, anyone?), and, of course, spots with good cell reception. Even in the apocalypse, Insta-worthy moments must be documented.

Step 3: Become the Surveyor of Your Domain: Now that you’ve gathered intel, it’s time to survey the land. Use your trusty compass to determine directions and sketch out rough estimates of distances. Imagine you’re on a treasure hunt for survival – X marks the spot where you buried your backup Twinkie stash.

Step 4: Master the Art of Doodling: No, seriously, doodling is an art. Start sketching out your surroundings with a flair for the dramatic. Mountains don’t just have to be triangles, they can be the Everest of doodles. Lakes? More like majestic amoebas of hydration. The more epic your doodles, the more legendary your map.

Step 5: Code Your Way to Safety: Create a legend for your map. No, not the kind with knights and dragons (unless that’s your apocalypse vibe). Use symbols to represent different features – a skull for danger, a heart for potential allies, and a thumbs-up for that place with surprisingly good post-apocalyptic coffee.

Step 6: The Nifty North Arrow: Every map needs a North arrow, and yours is going to be the coolest one in the wasteland. Put your artistic skills to the test – a funky arrow, a bold N, or maybe an elaborate design that only you can decipher. Because in the apocalypse, even compasses deserve a touch of flair.

Step 7: Emergency Escape Routes FTW: Think of your map as the GPS of the apocalypse. Mark potential escape routes, hidden passages, and shortcuts. Remember, you’re not just a cartographer; you’re a post-apocalyptic urban planner.

Bonus points for labeling these routes with dramatic names like “The Expressway to Evasion.”

Step 8: Embrace the Power of Color: Who said maps have to be drab? Grab some crayons or markers and unleash your inner Picasso. Color-code different zones – green for potential resources, red for danger zones, and maybe a nice pastel for the area where you plan to start your post-apocalyptic commune.

Step 9: The Legend of ‘Here Be Mutants’: Let’s face it; there will be mutants, and they need their place on your map. Draw friendly mutant territories, hostile mutant territories, and maybe even a neutral zone where you can negotiate with the more diplomatic mutants. You’re the Lewis and Clark of the mutant world.

Step 10: Laminate Like Your Life Depends On It: Your map is a precious artifact. Protect it like you protect your last can of beans. Laminate that bad boy, so it survives rain, zombie slobber, and any other apocalypse-related liquids. Attach it to your belt, wear it as a cape – just keep it close.

Congratulations, survivor! You’ve just crafted the most epic map in the post-apocalyptic world. With your compass in hand and your map at the ready, you’re now the cartographic hero of the wasteland. So, strap on your adventure boots, channel your inner explorer, and navigate the apocalypse with the swagger of someone who knows that, in the end, the best path is the one you doodle yourself. Happy map-making, wasteland wanderers!

Why Didn't I play Crackdown 2 years ago!?

crackdown 2 - gameplayCrackdown 2 came out in July 2010 from Ruffian Games and Microsoft Game Studios and I never bought it. I played Crackdown and enjoyed it but didn’t feel a second game would offer me much more. Recently, I started to feel there was nothing new I wanted to buy or replay. So, while visiting a friend I raided his collection of games and found Crackdown 2.

The original game was about being a Peacekeeper in a city overrun with factions of gangs and violence. Depending on which area you were in, you’d have to fight a different gang. Through a series of missions and collectible power-ups you grown in strength, speed, agility, and other skills. Eventually you can leap tall buildings in a single bound and throw cars like they’re dishware. It’s awesome and fun. Unfortunately, once you level up it’s kind of just about running through the city being a nuisance savior.


In Crackdown 2 you again play as a Peacekeeper (I love that Peacekeepers are never good guy in SciFi), but this time you’re tasked with defending the city from the terrorist group, Cell and the mutants that come out at night, Freaks. Sure the naming seems a bit half-assed but that’s really one of the draws of this kind of game. It’s not about being deeply clever or building a elaborate world with a life-changing story a la Mass Effect. This is a game like Burnout or SSX where the reality that inspires the game is just inspiration.

crackdown2

After the city saw an extended time of peace post-Crackdown this new threat of terrorism and monsters is overwhelming the population and the police. Clones are created to combat the problem. You play as one of these clones, simply named Agent.

Your commander coaches you through a training simulation so you know how to use your sweet new body, agency issued weapons, and the world around you. It’s all a very awesome mix of machismo and goofy.

crackdown-2-terrorists

In the beginning of the game, while the commander is coaching you through the tutorial, basics, missions and whatnot it’s a little annoying how much he talks and points out obvious things and tries to get you to chase orbs while in the middle of missions. Fortunately, you can ignore a lot of the instructions until you’re ready to do things like chase orbs in cars.

Pretty quickly I was a carjacking Cell and Peacekeepers alike and running down Freaks with gleeful abandon. Crackdown 2 really is so much fun in the same nonsensical way that Burnout and SSX are.

Oh, what’s the point of the story? Well you want to save the city, obviously. And… Um. So the Freaks are underground and you have to turn on these UV light machines that bomb the area in light, frying the Freaks where they stand. You turn on three power supply things and then enter a Freak lair to turn on the big light machine. Then you do it again. … And again.

crackdown-2

The action and beat-em-up aspect stayed fun after the missions got redundant and I lost interest. I loved running across rooftops and punching hordes of Freaks to death.

There’s a good a mount of customization (not for your character, who is a clone after all) when you span. You choose your gun and vehicle and more. There are also a few other modes to play like the one where you have all the power-ups and weapons and just rampage through the city. Yay.

If you’re looking for a fun, dystopian game, you can get pretty cheap; Crackdown 2 is your answer.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Post-Apocalyptic Graphic Novel (Comic): The Scourge

UPDATE: Got an email from a nice man at Aspen Comics who says, “Scourge is currently scheduled to go Digital in late January or early February. Keep checking our fb page and follow us on twitter for the latest updates.” Yay!

Sometimes a Zombie isn’t the worst thing you could become or watch others become. The sick and the shambling, we know how to fight them—with sticks and stones. But what about full-on demonic-style transformations from man to beast?

In apocalyptic scenarios, there’s always the fear that the mutations on center-stage might not be the only mutations that have occurred. We worry if animals might turn as well as people. We worry that after the walking dead come the running dead. And in Aspen Comics’ The Scourge, we worry if after the gargoyles, comes The Devil.

Yes, gargoyles.

Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic Graphic Novel (Comic): The Scourge”

Post-Apocalyptic Governance

Teamwork will be vital in the days, weeks and even months immediately following the apocalypse. Grab Tom, Dick and Harry and band together to eek out a meager existence.

However, once the mutants are contained and the infected have died off, leaving only a population of survivors, you’ll need some sort or population organization system.

Understand your options and the pros and cons they include.

Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic Governance”

Post-apocalyptic Video Game: RAGE

Set for release in September 2011, Rage embraces the notion of a chaotic, violent and indulgent future. It has a similar vibe to the Max Max or A Boy and His Dog universes. It’s some how dark and dangerous while still being light and fun.

Continue reading “Post-apocalyptic Video Game: RAGE”