The Ultimate Showdown: Home Office vs. Zombie-Infested Office

Picture this: the zombie apocalypse is upon us, and while the undead are stumbling through the streets, you’re faced with a crucial decision – where do you work? Home office or the good old traditional office? Let’s break it down in this epic battle of productivity, survival, and questionable workplace snacks.

The Homefront: Working from home during a zombie apocalypse might sound like a no-brainer (pun intended), but is it really the best choice? On the bright side, you’re already in your pajamas, which doubles as an impromptu zombie camouflage. Plus, you can turn your living room into a fortress with furniture barricades – take that, brain-hungry creatures!

Pros of the Home Office:

  1. No Commute: Forget about fighting off the undead during rush hour – your commute is now a leisurely stroll from your bedroom to your home office. Just watch out for that pesky zombie neighbor.
  2. Unlimited Snacks: Raiding your own kitchen means you have an endless supply of snacks. Need a pick-me-up during that important video call? No problem – just grab a handful of chips and carry on like a zombie-fighting pro.
  3. Personalized Workspace: Decorate your workspace with all the quirky, motivational, or downright weird items that inspire you. Your desk, your rules – even if those rules involve a rubber chicken as a stress ball.

Cons of the Home Office:

  1. Isolation: While Zoom meetings are a great way to stay connected, nothing beats the water cooler chat or the camaraderie of office banter. Working from home might leave you feeling like the last human on Earth, surrounded by the walking dead.
  2. Distractions Galore: Pets, family members, and the lure of Netflix can turn your home office into a battleground of distractions. Finding the balance between work and fending off zombies might be trickier than expected.

The Traditional Office: Now, let’s not underestimate the power of the classic office space in the face of a zombie apocalypse. It might seem like an unconventional choice, but there’s more to the 9-to-5 grind than meets the eye.

Pros of the Traditional Office:

  1. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: When zombies attack, there’s strength in numbers. Your office mates can be your allies in the fight against the undead. Just make sure to choose colleagues with good cardio – you never know when you’ll have to make a run for it.
  2. Office Supplies as Weapons: Forget the baseball bat – grab that stapler! Offices are treasure troves of improvised weapons.

    From paper reams to whiteboard markers, you’ll be equipped to face the apocalypse head-on.
  3. Structured Routine: A regular office routine might be the anchor you need in a world gone mad. Clock in, save the world, clock out – it’s a simple formula for survival.

Cons of the Traditional Office:

  1. Commute Nightmare: Getting to the office might involve navigating through hordes of zombies, and public transportation is now a risky adventure. Forget about a smooth morning commute – it’s more like a marathon of the living dead.
  2. Limited Resources: Forget about raiding your fridge or grabbing a quick nap on your couch. Office life means relying on the office vending machine for sustenance and sleeping under your desk for a power nap.

In the epic battle of home office vs. traditional office during a zombie apocalypse, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It all comes down to personal preferences, survival instincts, and how well you can swing a stapler.

Whether you choose the comfort of your home sanctuary or the chaotic but resourceful traditional office, one thing’s for sure – the undead better watch out for your unbeatable blend of productivity and zombie-slaying prowess!

This week in the real world

What Are Women Worth at The End of The World?

Many of the depictions of apocalyptic life we see are over the top and hyper-fictionalized.  In the few more realistic versions, there is a disquieting, reoccurring theme: women are weak and they can be broken, owned, and kept.

We see forced prostitution, the normalization of rape and capture for fun and profit, and maybe worse yet, women who stand up and act like people–especially strong people– are considered anomalous. If a woman speaks up, hunts, protects the group, or displays any skill outside of making babies, tears or meals she’s wowing the audience or they’re rolling their eyes.

The fact that a strong woman or girl invested in her survival is a novelty should be a red flag. If the apocalypse happened tomorrow, would the women you value today be seen as valuable people or just usable commodities?

Part of survival training needs to be not only developing the ability to stay alive but also the fortitude to fight for that life and your right to live it well and freely. I’ve mentioned before that part of a successful apocalyptic life, especially for women, will likely involve killing some jackholes who think they’re maleness affords them privileges to you femaleness. Continue reading “What Are Women Worth at The End of The World?”