Zombie apocalypse parenting class: Part three

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been writing about the zombie apocalypse parenting class I took at Babes in Arms, a local baby store. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here. This is the third and final installment to the post series.

Note: Babes in Arms gave me the complimentary seat in the class because I’m writing about it for ICoS.

 

COLD WEATHER PREP: FOR THOSE AWESOME MID-WINTER BLIZZARDS

 

So, okay. This class was held in Calgary. You know, in Alberta. Where it gets cold and snowy for six months of the year. (Yuck, I know, but such is life.) But since we live in a place where winter takes over for what seems like forever, we always have to be prepared for blizzards. Which are kinda like the hurricanes of the north, if you think about it. I mean, it gets windy, with ridiculous amounts of precipitation—though instead of being flooded out, you get snowed in. And instead of drowning or dying from heat stroke, you could freeze to death when the power goes out.

Either way, it’s pretty bad. And blizzards do happen. So, as always, it’s best to be prepared.

Continue reading “Zombie apocalypse parenting class: Part three”

The zombie apocalypse parenting class: Part 1

Welcome to the apocalypse. You’re a parent. Are you prepared?

Note: I was able to take this class for free because I’m reviewing the class for ICoS.

I’ve written about post-apocalyptic parenting in the past here on ICoS. Being a post-apocalyptic parent is something I think about, albeit a little less often than I think about post-apocalyptic evil space monkeys. (What can I say, I’m really into evil space monkeys. Especially if they’re pirates.

But I’m not into them THAT way, so get your mind out of the gutter.)

Of course, most of what I’ve written about is hypothetical. After all, I really have no idea what the world will be like after an apocalypse, so I have even less of an idea of what parenting will be like after said apocalypse. It’s really anybody’s guess. (And I’d imagine some guesses are more interesting than others.)

That being said, there are some things we can prepare for as parents. And really, there are some things we already prepare for. Don’t believe me? Think about it: if you’ve ever traveled for any length of time with young children, you’ve packed, prepared, and thought about at least half a dozen contingencies (possibly related to a kid losing a security blanket, getting bored, or running out of diapers). That type of prepping is, at its root, the same thing as preparing for a disaster. Because I don’t know about you, but if my youngest lost her security blanket, I’d probably be hoping for the apocalypse to come around.

If, however, you don’t think you’re ready for a disaster – apocalyptic or otherwise – but want to be, there are actually classes you can take. (I know, right?) And here in Calgary, there’s a zombie apocalypse parenting class.

I KNOW. I never thought I’d see “zombie apocalypse,” “parenting,” and “class” together in any sort of phrase, but there you go.

Not surprisingly, it’s a class that helps you prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Also disasters and big emergencies, but that’s not nearly as important as the zombie apocalypse, right? Exactly. Now I, as a responsible parent (or something like that), jumped at the chance to take this class, because dude, seriously. It’s a zombie apocalypse parenting class.

How could I not take it?

It’s a good thing I did, too, because holy chalupas on a paper plate, I am SO NOT PREPARED.

Let’s take a look, shall we? In the opening questionnaire, the first question was, “name five things that you always keep in your diaper bag or car.” I answered based on what’s always rolling around in my van, because I no longer carry a diaper bag (oh thank the gods). So what do I have in my van at any given time? Bottled water, baby wipes (most likely dried out), a stroller, random jackets, and kids’ toys. (I didn’t mention the cheeseburger wrappers, escapee French fries, and the occasional (used) napkin.)

Granted, old French fries might make a good weapon – they’d be hard and crunchy enough to do some damage if I had a whipped it at someone’s head. Note to self: put slingshot in glove box.

And then there was the question about what skills we’d bring to a zombie survival team. Well, crap. Does Google-fu count? No? What about making fun of people? Also no? Well, that means I’m toast. Make sure someone prevents me from snacking on your brains, ok?

On a more serious note, we also discussed how people get their news. After all, in an emergency situation, it’ll be important that people find out what’s going on as soon as humanly possible. Figuring out Little Johnny’s soccer schedule when, say, a tsunami is bearing down on your location is probably not the safest or smartest thing for you to be doing. But if you don’t know what’s happening out there, you’re probably going to prioritize that schedule. Get what I’m saying here?

For fast-developing events, the best source of information is probably Twitter. Love it or hate it, Twitter has a lot of active users, and they share a lot of information. Yes, some of it’s useless, but some of it…isn’t. Of course, there’s also Facebook. Personally, I found out about last year’s Japanese tsunami via Facebook – my brother was updating his status as the earthquake was happening (he was in Tokyo at the time).

Really, social media can be a good source of up to the minute information, especially when it comes to emergencies or disasters. (It’s also a good source of what people had for lunch, but hey, you win some, you lose some.)

All in all, the class was fun, informative, and lighthearted. Well, as lighthearted as you can get when you’re talking about a scenario when the world has just gone to hell around you. But hey, you gotta laugh, otherwise you’ll cry.

I learned quite a bit from the class, and I highly recommend you take it (or one like it, if you’re not in Calgary). Or maybe at some point in the future, Lindsay will consider offering this via webinar for those who aren’t lucky enough to be in Calgary. (Hint, hint?)

I will talk about the class in greater depth in subsequent posts, but I wanted to get the general overview up for you to read. Lindsay and her co-teacher gave us a lot of information – all of it good information – and I wanted to share the basics of it with you. Of course, this doesn’t take away from the class (and I still think you should take it if you can), because I couldn’t get all the information written down. Also, nothing beats the person-to-person interaction that allows you to ask questions and all that fun stuff.

Basically, this means you have to stay tuned over the next couple weeks while I round off the post series!

Thank you again to Lindsay Ross and Babes in Arms in Calgary for allowing me to sit in on this class!

Website: www.babesinarms.ca
Twitter: @babesinarmsshop

Post-Apocalyptic Would You Rather

Would You Rather is a game where you’re tasked with choosing between two terrible things you don’t want. It’s usually nasty things like, “seeing you parents have sex or your parents seeing you having sex.” Ew. Not a game I like playing.

So I changed it up a bit. I’m curious about what everyone thinks is a better or worse apocalyptic scenario. Keep in mind, my day job is in market research so I’m kind of curious and inquisitive by nature AND training.

Would You Rather: Aliens or Robots?

Aliens could swoop in and just burn this place to the ground, or they could infiltrate and slowly destroy us from the inside out.

Robots, usually through some failing or hubris or man, would likely become a vital part of our societies then snap like JLo in Enough.

[poll id=”6″]

Would You Rather: City or Country?

Surviving in the City would not only mean scavenging and crumbling structures, but also pre-made everything to use or live in.

Surviving in the country would mean starting from scratch, catching or growing food, and braving the wildlife.

[poll id=”7″]

 Would You Rather: Slavery or Rebellion?

Both seem like so much work! At least with slavery you have food and shelter and consistency. On the other hand, rebels can take naps and drink and fornicate at will.

[poll id=”8″]

Would You Rather: A Dictator or Anarchy?

While I never paid much mind to government, I hear dictators make it their business to be touch the lives of all their subjects in some way. Fall in line and it could be a good way.

Anarchy could be chaotic and upsetting, or you could just slip out the back and go check out the country living. And when the bandits come to raid your homestead you’re free to shoot them and string them up as a warning to any who come after.

[poll id=”9″]

 Would You Rather: Lose everyone at once or Lose everyone over time?

It’s like pulling of a band-aid, do it fast and then get over it.

Alternatively, you could utilize the skills and build relationships with people overtime.

Both would probably drive you mad.

*shrugs*

[poll id=”10″]

Would You Rather: Eat People or be a Vegan?

They both have their downsides. Murder on the one hand and being Vegan on the other…

[poll id=”11″]

Would You Rather: Lose an Arm or Lose a Leg?

Things are going to fall, lasers might be fired… Which do you value the least, your arm or your leg?

[poll id=”12″]

Would You Rather: Survive with your Mom or you Dad?

Yup. When you think of people the least likely to survive an apocalypse, you’re parents are probably on there. Mine are. Bare in mind that you’ll probably have to watch them die when they lose their glasses or stop and ask a bandit for directions.

[poll id=”13″]

Would You Rather: Your Co-Workers or Your Neighbors?

Honestly, I wouldn’t know my neighbors if the walked up and punched me in the face.

They don’t look especially durable…

Co-workers, well, I spend eight hours a day with them and certainly don’t go home and miss them…

[poll id=”14″]

Would You Rather: Candy Forever or Dehydrated Fruits and Vegetables Forever?

Imagine you and your band of survivors come across a factory that you can defend and live in. Inside is a nearly unlimited supply of food… Kind of.

[poll id=”15″]

Would You Rather: Be Hunted and Loyal or Be Safe and a Traitor?

So say there’s an antagonist, be it the government, or aliens, or an oligarchy, or Amazons. This antagonist finds out that you and yours are not playing like they’d like you to be.

They offer you a choice, give up the goods and help them find the others or take a head start and try to protect your neck.

[poll id=”16″]

If you have any suggestions for other tough choices or would like to elaborate on your decisions above, talk to us via the comments below.