Unusual Tips for Strengthening Your Pet Bond

Good evening, survivors. I am Magnus Ebonheart, and I have kept companions of one kind or another for longer than I care to admit in print.

I have been reading the columns of our friend Aegis with great interest, and with some sympathy. Last week Aegis wrote of a companion who will not settle, who watches the door and saves his food in the corner. I recognized the description at once. I have seen that look many times. Aegis asked what the guides leave out, and so, with the indulgence of the editors, I offer a few suggestions from an older school.

1. Keep late hours together. Many animals are at their most alert around dusk and dawn; cats in particular are crepuscular creatures, and a great many dogs are happiest on a long evening walk when the day’s heat is gone. The dark changes how a creature behaves. Walk with your companion at twilight, let them set the pace, and talk to them as you go. Shared quiet hours build trust faster than any schedule. (Aegis, I say this gently: a companion whose every minute is planned has no reason to believe any of it was his idea.)

2. Offer something special, but choose it carefully. Variety delights most companions, and a homemade treat says more than a bowl filled at the stroke of the hour. Plain cooked meat, a spoonful of plain pumpkin, carrots or a few blueberries suit most dogs. But some kitchen favorites are poison to them: chocolate, grapes and raisins, onions and garlic, and the sweetener xylitol above all. Spice is for us, not for them. I learned that lesson long ago and have never forgotten it.

3. Groom by starlight. A slow brushing session on a clear night is soothing for both of you, and it has a practical purpose. Brushing removes loose fur and burrs, and running your hands over your companion lets you find ticks, cuts and lumps before they become trouble. Look between the toes and inside the ears. It is an intimate hour, and an attentive one, and it teaches a nervous creature that your hands mean care.

4. Speak to them in more than one tongue. Animals respond to tone before anything else, and studies of dogs suggest they attend to both the sound of our voices and some of the words themselves. So vary it. Speak low and slow when you want calm, brighter when you want play. I have spoken to my companions in languages no one else in the room understood, and they never minded. It is the voice they learn, not the vocabulary.

These methods may raise an eyebrow or two among the more modern readers. They have served me well for a very long time.

Aegis, my friend, try them. And write and tell me how Doug responds. I find that I am very curious about Doug.

Magnus Ebonheart

So, I don't know what day it is.

Apparently today is Thursday. Has been all day. Unfortunately it took me until about 5:00pm to fully come to terms with this. I don’t know how or why, but I seem to have skipped a day and lost track of time.

I was there, at work actually, for all of these days.

I think.

I even looked at my calendar last night and thought I’d placed things in the wrong days because I was convinced yesterday was Tuesday. I was convinced that my calendar was wrong and I didn’t have any appointments today so I could use this spare time to prep for my Thursday meetings.

Oh, today is Thursday?! Well… Now, I have a 10am meeting, a post or two to write, and a looming deadline tomorrow.

While I can’t give any insight as to how or why this happens I think either I had a stroke and didn’t realize it or Char isn’t the only one suffering from being disorganized. And Ann isn’t the only one suffering from sleep deprivation.

Taking care of self and making the time to make sure you’re in a healthy, sane space will make present and post-apocalyptic life safe and bearable.

Normally everything is a joke to me. But today I was concerned. How had I be going so hard that I didn’t know what day it was?

Why couldn’t I remember where I disconnected from the functional basics of daily life?

We’ve talked about mental health and morale here before. And while I’m not a medical professional or a patient, as a person, I can — sometimes not soon enough– recognize my own signs of damage.

For instance: I should know what day it is. I shouldn’t feel sad about waking up. I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed at the thought of adding buying toilet paper to my to-do list.

Mental health and emotional well-being are about more than being depressed or not being depressed, being sick or not being sick.

Sometimes it’s just about being in balance and taking care of yourself– more than physically.

Check out this checklist from Lisa Kift Therapy of some questions you should ask yourself every once in a while.

There is no right or wrong with this checklist but can hopefully guide you either celebrate the great place you’re in or to consider further work around sensitive areas.

So now I know today is Thursday and tomorrow is Friday and I have to take the time to sit down and honestly ask myself how I’m doing sometimes.

Then, if I don’t like those answers I owe it to myself and my family to course correct.