So, you're stuck eating insects.

It’s a nasty little fact that if you’re in a survival situation and you’re desperate for food, you’re going to have to eat insects. They’re high in protein and nutrients. I know, I know, your pampered little stomachs are in revolt at the very idea. Well, I’m going to ask you: Whats better? Eating an insect or slowly starving to death? Thought so.
By the way, if you chose starving? You’re an idiot.

So. Insects. Creepy-crawly little protein powerhouses. First things first, you’re going to need to figure out which ones are edible and which ones aren’t. There are good books on the subject of insects out there and most decent survival books will cover the issue too, so start there. If you don’t have time for that, go by simple, basic clues. Avoid brightly coloured things. Avoid spiders, millipedes and scorpions.

As for how to cook them- welll, EHow has it covered, as always. I feel like they’re missing something though. I mean, sure, it helps. Here’s how to cook insects so you aren’t biting into chewy insect innards. But how about making them tasty, internet? How are we going to do that?

Some people suggest slathering them in chocolate. But I don’t think there’s enough chocolate in the universe for that.

My advice? CHILLI. Loot all the dried chilli you can. Grind up the insects with edible vegetation (make sure to have a copy of ‘food for free‘ with you!) and add dried chilli. Add enough that you forget what you’re actually eating.
But I might be wrong. It’s a possibility,  even if it seems unlikely. But, to be on the safe side, I asked an expert in the business.

He didn’t respond (rude, much) so I asked Ray Mears.

Who also failed to respond, leading me to believe there is NO way to make insects tasty. So, I suggest just sucking it up and dealing.


And yes, Char, I did write this mainly to make you squirm.
Had to be done.

All that said, I won’t be in a hurry to eat me any insects. But if they’re what’s there, I’m sure I can supress my gag reflex long enough to make them so unrecognisable that eating them is feasable.

4 thoughts on “So, you're stuck eating insects.

  1. I always thought that our ability to eat things like shrimp and lobster was rather hypocritical considering the widespread antipathy over eating bugs…I mean, have you LOOKED at a crab recently?!!?

  2. ^^ Funny, I have no problems eating shellfish, but I freak out about anything that looks remotely bug-like. So maybe I just need to pretend that grasshopper I’m eating (slathered in chili, of course) is just a really spicy crawfish. Or something.

  3. If you’re in the UK there is one foolproof insect-like protein source. ALL species of snail in the UK are edible. Purge them by feeding them oats for a few days, wash them, boil them, then winkle them out of their shells and chow down. We also have a riverside greenery plant that smells and tastes exactly like garlic to help cover the fact that you’re eating snails.

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