I am your post-apocalyptic benevolent dictator.

Oh yes, I am. It’s time to be honest with you – I don’t prepare so I can spend the next thrity years of my shortened life span grubbing in the dirt. I prepare so that I can make you do that for me. And you’ll do it, because by then you’ll love me.

Oh how you’ll love me, because I will rule you kindly. Make no mistake, attacking my rule will not be OK, but I will be a good ruler. You’ll have an equal amount of food and water, and no-one will be picked for dangerous duties more than anyone else. Alowing for extenuating circumstances, of course.

Crime will be treated harshly, but fairly. No slavery here, no rape gangs, no forcing people to fight to the death for my amusement (except at christmas). You’ll be able to trade, to farm, and you will be treated with as much kindness and respect as you deserve.

We will be safe and peaceful and all you’ll have to do is accept my rule as law. To listen to me and do as I say. That’s not so hard, is it? I mean, think of the alternatives. I have your best interests at heart, and I want you to be safe. Safe, and productive.

Take my hand, and kneel before me. It’s not so hard, is it?

If it is, there’s always choice. I will never deny you choice. You can abide by my rules, or you can try and make it outside. My… helper will escort you out. Food and water? Oh, we can’t waste those on outsiders. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You thought you could run this place better than me, after all. Watch the men with guns on your way out. They may accidentally think you’re an enemy, and that would be a tragedy. And I’d be sure to criticise the leader of our military, strongly, even if he does share my bed.

Oh yes. The man in charage of our military arm. That’s my husband. He has experience, but please don’t ask what. It’s not really relevant any more, is it? All you need to know is that he’s promised not to murder any of our citizens. Which is really much better than a lot of other places out there isn’t it?

See, you’re safe with me. It’s good here. Why would you ever leave?



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