Apocalypse Mindsets Unleashed: Navigating the End with Swagger

Hey there, post-apocalyptic pioneers! So, the world is about to hit the fan, and you’re pondering, “What’s my apocalypse mindset?” Fear not, because we’re diving into the realm of survival philosophies with a dose of humor, confidence, and just a hint of madness. Buckle up, because we’re about to explore different mindsets in the post-apocalyptic world – casual, comedic, and confidently crafted.

  1. The Optimist: Pros: Glass half full, anyone? The optimist sees a barren wasteland and says, “Great, more room for activities!” Positivity might attract fellow survivors, and the sunny outlook can be contagious. Cons: Ignoring the harsh reality might lead to unexpected encounters with zombies or overly aggressive mutant squirrels. Not every post-apocalyptic creature is a cuddly friend.
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  2. The Pessimist: Pros: Prepared for the worst at all times, the pessimist won’t be caught off guard. Expectations are low, so any day without a zombie bite is a good day. Cons: Constantly predicting doom might be a bit of a downer. Also, good luck forming alliances when your mantra is, “We’re all doomed, so why bother?”
  3. The Realist: Pros: Balancing optimism and pessimism, the realist sees the world as it is. This mindset thrives on practicality, making decisions based on actual circumstances rather than wishful thinking.
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    Cons: Might come off as a party pooper when the optimist is planning a post-apocalyptic picnic. Sometimes, a bit of whimsy is just what the wasteland needs.
  4. The Survivalist: Pros: Ready for anything, the survivalist has a bug-out bag for every occasion. From a zombie attack to a sudden alien invasion, they’ve got the tools and the know-how.
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    Cons: Might spend more time prepping than actually enjoying the post-apocalyptic world. Also, the constant smell of camo and dehydrated meals might not be the most attractive aroma.
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  5. The Nomad: Pros: Embracing a wanderlust mindset, the nomad roams the wasteland, discovering new places and avoiding the pitfalls of settling in one location. Cons: Lack of a permanent home means limited resources and a constant sense of impermanence. Plus, finding good Wi-Fi for post-apocalyptic Netflix can be a real struggle.
  6. The Community Builder: Pros: Recognizing strength in numbers, the community builder seeks to establish a thriving post-apocalyptic society. Cooperation, shared resources, and a sense of unity are the cornerstones. Cons: The inevitable group drama, disputes over canned goods, and the occasional power struggle can make establishing a utopian wasteland harder than it sounds.
  7. The Lone Wolf: Pros: Independent and self-sufficient, the lone wolf relies on no one but themselves. Stealthy, resourceful, and with a knack for survival, they navigate the wasteland on their own terms. Cons: Loneliness, limited support in tight spots, and the lack of a second opinion when deciding whether that suspicious-looking mushroom is edible. Sometimes, a buddy system isn’t such a bad idea.
  8. The Philosopher: Pros: Seeking deeper meaning in the apocalypse, the philosopher reflects on the nature of existence, survival, and the profound questions that arise in a post-apocalyptic world. Cons: May get lost in existential musings while a zombie horde is closing in. Also, trying to discuss the meaning of life with mutants might not be as rewarding as anticipated.
  9. The Joker: Pros: Finding humor in the darkest of times, the joker uses laughter as a coping mechanism. Quick-witted and always ready with a quip, they lighten the mood in the midst of chaos. Cons: Might not be taken seriously in critical situations. Also, not everyone appreciates a stand-up routine when zombies are at the door.
  10. The Strategist: Pros: Master of tactics and planning, the strategist calculates every move. From fortifying a shelter to orchestrating a coordinated attack on a nest of mutants, this mindset is all about outsmarting the apocalypse. Cons: Sometimes, overthinking can lead to missed opportunities. Flexibility is key, and the best-laid plans might need a few improvisations along the way.

There you have it – a light-hearted exploration of post-apocalyptic mindsets.

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Whether you’re cracking jokes in the face of mutants or meticulously planning your nomadic journey, remember that the key to surviving the end is a healthy dose of confidence, a pinch of humor, and the flexibility to adapt to whatever the wasteland throws your way. So, choose your mindset, embrace the madness, and swagger into the post-apocalyptic sunset with the confidence of someone who knows that, no matter what, the adventure is just beginning. Happy survival, wasteland wanderers!

Cannibal Ettiquette

Cannibalism which took place in Russia and Lit...
Cannibalism which took place in Russia and Lithuania during the famine of 1571 (Photo credit: Wikipedia) This is you. This is your future.

Being A Polite Person When Eating A Person.

Does being a cannibal have to mean rudeness?

At some point in your post-apocalyptic future, you may be required to resort to cannabalism. Please be aware, there is no shame in this choice. You did what you had to do to ensure the survival of yourself and your community. You are still a good person, even if you’re a cannibal. Let go of the guilt.

It’ll probably help with the guilt if you at least display some basic ettiquette about the situation. Just because you’re chowing down on your friends leg is no reason to be rude about it.

But isn’t eating a person inherently rude? No! Not necessarily. I will be your guide to the complex and distrubing world of Cannibal Ettiquette.

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Survivalists who need glasses

You may have noticed that all three of our major contributers wear specs. Because of this I was filled with an almost unholy glee when our stats showed us that someone had found our blog using that search term on google (although I was mildly confused at the fact that 39 people found us through searching for ‘Tia Dalma’). But then my apocalypse-obsessed brain got to working on this concept. After all, what does a survivalist who needs glasses do?

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Post-apocalyptic threats you haven't considered.

So, you think you’re pretty sorted, right? You’ve gone through our archives, checked out our reccommended reading. You have your go-bag, your outfit, and your group.You’re ready to go live your post-apocalyptic life in (relative) comfort and security, and nothing we say can bring you down. Right?

Right?

Wrong. There’s so much you haven’t even half considered yet. Like these threats.

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